


Things That Go Bump In the Night

by MyNameMeansHero



Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, F/M, Gen, Ghouls, Kind of AU, Multi, Supernatural - Freeform, Vampires, Werewolves, things that go bump in the night - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-03
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-05-24 13:49:53
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 21
Words: 42,314
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6155689
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyNameMeansHero/pseuds/MyNameMeansHero
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>-Things That Go Bump In The Night-</p><p>You grew up a hunter, grew up killing the things that go bump in the night. You always dreamed of a "tv life" or so your dad had called it. However, you settled for one nights stands and week long relationships because they were what you could handle. Your very last hunt came along with your very last one night stand. You were finally able to retire, you had a job, an apartment, even bought yourself a German Shepard pup and trained it yourself. You finally had that TV life you dreamed about. Until your past catches up with you. Until your husband becomes something you least expect. You're thrust back into a life that of which you despise. Only one thing on your mind: get your husband back. But you soon realize your past is more extensive than you thought and things begin to boil. You struggle with love, loyalty, and trust as you try to fit yourself into a new life, much different than any you've come to know.</p><p>(This story is also up on Wattpad)</p><p>Female!Reader</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

Ten years ago - First Thursday of April

You sat down in the dirty rumpled bed, ready to take a nap. You felt a hard jab in your left shoulder.

"Sissy? Where's Daddy?" Your younger brother spoke quietly. He's always wondering this kind of thing, you and your dad don't have the heart to tell him the truth. That he hunts monsters, and that he's training you to hunt monsters.

"He's out working Kev. Don't worry he'll be back." You said, attempting to be soothing. You placed a light kiss on the top of his head as you hugged him.

"I can't sleep Y/N... Can you sing to me?" Kevin said, almost in tears. You pulled him into your lap, singing him softly to sleep.

"I heard there was a secret cord, that David played and it pleased the lord  
But you don't really care for music do you  
Well it goes like this, the fourth, the fifth, the minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah  
Hallelujah   
Hallelujah   
Hallelujah   
Hallelujah"  
It was his favorite song, it always put him to sleep almost instantly. When you saw his breathing slow and felt his body relax, you slowly lay him on the bed and walked over to the couch to sleep.

You couldn't have slept for more than an hour when your father came bursting into the room, bloody and disheveled.

"Where's Kevin?" He roared. You shakily pointed towards the bed. Your father walked over to Kevin and lifted him off the bed.

"Y/N, put everything into the duffel bag, keep a shot gun in your hands, and meet us at home base. You'll make it. Make sure you've got your Holy water flask on you." he relayed these orders with haste and then he was gone. You scrambled to fulfill every order he gave you, throwing every weapon and book he had brought with you on this hunt into a backpack, shoving a flask of Holy water into your jacket pocket and loading a shotgun with salt rounds. Then, you ran. You made it ten blocks, half way to the bus station before something threw you against the building to your left. Making you drop your shotgun.

"Well look what Stan left for us, a tiny piece of hot ass." The man said with a smirk. His eyes flashed black and you realized why your father had made such precautions.

"Leave my father out of this you piece of shit." You growled through gritted teeth.

"Damn teenagers, think they can just say whatever the fuck they want..." The demon snarled. All it took was for him to raise his hand to send scorching pain throughout your entire body. You couldn't help but scream, which just made the demon smile. You reached into your pocket, grabbing the flask of holy water, throwing its contents on your attacker. The pain subsided as he screamed and keeled over. You retrieved your shotgun quickly, aiming it at the demons head and released a salt round into the air with a loud pop. You turned tail and fled to the bus station, not bothering to look behind you. Ordering a bus ticket to Roseville, Montana, you hopped on the bus shortly before it left the station. The six hour ride passed quickly and gave you time to finally get your nap in. When you woke, you were only ten minutes from your destination. Internally, you began to panic.

"Where is Kevin? Where is Dad? Did they get out okay?" These thoughts filled your head as you disembarked and made your way to home base. As you made your way up the winding dirt driveway your heartbeat began to quicken, you couldn't see your dads car. Your pace began to quicken the longer you didn't see that dumb car. You sprinted to the front door, tearing it open.

"Dad?! Kev?!" You ran throughout the house, screaming their names. They were nowhere to be found. 

You spent the next two weeks waiting for them to come home. Because dad always comes home right? But in your heart you knew the truth. They were gone. You decided you needed to move on. Live your life the way your dad would have wanted. As a hunter. You went to the cash stash in the office, took some money and went to buy yourself a cellphone.

"What kind of sixteen year old doesn't have a cellphone?" You joked with yourself. Once you had it you set yourself up with an email too. You wrote down all of your new contact information and posted it on the cork board near the front door.

"Maybe, if he comes back, he'll see this and we can be a family again." The thought of your family being gone forever was too much for you to bear. Tears pricked your eyes and you collapsed on the ground in a heap.

After a time, you pulled yourself together. You stood up with a hardened face, packed up the truck your father bought (stole) you for your sixteenth birthday with anything and everything you would need and set out into the world, ready to destroy anything in your path.


	2. The Last Hunt

Two years ago

"Fuck fuck fuck fuck fUCK" You ran through the woods, nothing but a silver butter knife in your hand. A werewolf chasing after you, tearing through the trees. Out of breath, you stopped to take stock of the situation.

"Alright, I have a... Butter knife. Great. It's silver though so I can kill it. If I get close enough..." You heard a branch snap to your left.

"Shit." The beast lunged at you, ripping two long gashes in your back, from your left shoulder to your right hip. You screamed in pain before whipping around to view your assailant.

"Come get me you little bitch." You taunted the monster. A smirk grew on his lips and he ran for you, maiming your right leg and giving you a deep gash on your left cheek. The blunt knife was knocked from your hand and you began to panic, your attacker growing more and more violent by the minute. You were sure he would have eaten your heart had you not heard a shot ring out from the trees. The movements on top of you ceased and the man slumped over on top of you. Quickly you pushed him off and retrieved your butter knife.

"What the hell? There is no way that bullet was silver, why did it hurt him?" The werewolf began to stir.

"Shit! It didn't!" You quickly plunged the knife into the mans heart before sprinting out of the woods as fast as possible.

When you finally made it back to your dirty motel room you inspected your wounds. There was a lot of blood soaking your shirt, your leg was cut up pretty bad and the cut on your cheek had at least stopped bleeding. You managed to clean yourself up the best you could, even took a steaming hot shower to clean out your injuries. Stung like a bitch though. You threw on underwear and shorts, wrapped your torso to protect your back and then went to bed.

You spent just over a week in that motel room resting and waiting for your body to heal. You were frustrated because it gave you too much time to think. About your dad and brother, about your mom, about how she died in child birth with Kevin, how you never heard from your father in the last ten years, how at twenty six you still hadn't had a real relationship ship, how everyone you ever loved had died or gone missing. So once you had healed enough, you did what anyone would do. You hit the local bar.

Downing your fifth glass of whisky in ten minutes, the bartender cut you off. Saying something about how you "didn't look so good" you of course scoffed at this and ordered another. But before your drink arrived, a very attractive man in a suit came to sit next to you.

"Tough day?" He asked in a low sweet voice.

"You don't know the half of it buddy." You motioned for the bartender to bring you another drink but he just shook his head. You scowled and turned to the man next to you.

"How about you?" You asked. "Tough day?" He laughed at that,

"Sweetheart, it is always a tough day for people in my line of work."

"Well, we've both had bad days, let's try to end the on a better note, shall we?" You spoke in a sultry voice, grabbing his loosened tie and pulling him closer to you. He cleared his throat.

"Mm.. Uhm.. Yeah okay" He stuttered out. You kissed his cheek and let your hand linger on his chest before walking towards the entrance, hips swaying. You turned around to see he wasn't following you. You smiled and crooked your finger at him, motioning for him to follow. He smirked, straightened himself and followed you to your motel room.

The second you got in the door he began tearing at your clothes, pulling at your low cut top. You helped him out and raised in off your body. His hands began to search your hips as you raised your own into his short spiked hair and pulled him into a rough kiss. He reached for your bra clasp and stopped short, feeling the two long scars along your back. You hissed at the contact and pulled out of the kiss. You looked at the floor, angry that you forgot about the scar. Slowly he turned you around, gingerly running his finger tips along the two thick lines that ran down your back.

"How...?" He asked so quietly that you weren't sure if he wanted you to answer. You did anyway.

"Hunting accident, almost two weeks ago" you said. This is what you told anyone who saw your scars. They always accepted it and moved on.

"What the hell were you hunting??" He asked, genuinely surprised. Your body began to heat up and you began to panic, you tried to think of something to say.

"Wolf." It was the first thing you could think of. Even though you knew it would just bring up more questions.

"Look, if the scars are too much for you then I think maybe you should just leave." You said quickly, trying to avoid any further interrogation.

"No, it's okay" The man said. "I've got some scars too, from hunting accidents as well." When he said this you smiled, glad that he wasn't bothered. You really needed to blow off some steam and sex was the only way you wanted to do that right now. You turned around and ripped off his suit coat, and set to work undoing his shirt and tie. Within seconds, he was in his boxers and you in your bra and panties. He paused for a moment, drinking your body in, his arousal evident from the impressive tent in his boxers. You heard an excited growl come from him as he quickly walked toward you and brought you into a heated kiss. You moaned against him and he took the opportunity to slip his tongue into your mouth. You felt heat pooling in between your legs and slipped your fingers into the waistband oh his boxers. They, along with the rest of your clothes, were off in seconds. He pushed you backwards until your knees hit the bed and you fell backwards onto your back causing you to grunt in surprise. The man quickly climbed onto the bed, straddling your hips. He looked down at you with lust filled eyes and began to work hickeys onto your neck and chest.

"Please... I need.. You inside... Me..." You moaned. He responded instantly by positioning himself in front of your entrance. He looked at you one last time, as if for permission. You responded by tangling your hands into his dirty blonde hair and pulled him into a searing kiss. A moment later he thrust inside you, causing you to gasp as he filled you perfectly. He pumped in and out, hitting your sweet spot every time. You could feel the knot in your stomach begin to tighten as he picked up speed.

"Fuck... I'm close..." You gasped into the nape of his neck. His thrusts became erratic and you could tell he was too. He thrust into you one last time, harder than he had before and that sent you over the edge, your walls clamping down around him. He grunted in your ear and you felt him cum inside you as you rode out the last waves of your orgasm. He collapsed next to you, eyes closed and panting and you looked over at him, really studying him this time. You noticed the uneven stubble across his face, you noticed the scars across his chest. You recognized stab wounds, cuts, and even a gunshot wound. The scar that really caught your attention was the handprint on his shoulder. Like someone had set their hand on fire and gripped his shoulder. You then noticed the tattoo near his left collar bone. An anti-possession symbol.

"Damn, did he really need to be a hunter?" You were annoyed you hadn't seen it before. You glanced at the clothes laying on the floor. A badge glinted from inside his coat.

"I should ask him where he gets his fake I.D.s..." You laughed at yourself. He opened his eyes and looked at you. Their stunning green looking deeply into your E/C.

"What's so funny?" He asked you, genuinely confused.

"I just didn't realize what you hunted." You continued you little giggle fit. His eyebrows knit together in confusion.

"What are you talking about?" You heard the panic in his voice. This only made you laugh harder. Although honestly, you weren't quite sure why it was you were laughing. Was it because this man understood? Or that he could kill you at any given moment?

"Well..." You said, laughter finally subsiding. "There is this that gives me a clue." You said, tapping the tattoo on his chest. He tensed for a moment. You rolled over, revealing a similar tattoo on the left side of your lower back.

"It's okay. I hunt too." You felt him relax beside you.

"So the scars?" He asked.

"Worked a job in this town, werewolf. Fight got hairy, I mean I was armed with a butter knife so things were not going well. Ended up in the woods, he was tearing at me pretty bad. Someone shot him, but it wasn't with a silver bullet because he wasn't down for long. Anyway, if you find a body in the woods with a silver butter knife sticking out of its back, that'd be my work." You laughed at your own poor joke. The man with you started laughing as well, although a lot harder than you thought he should be.

"What? That joke wasn't that funny. Barely even a joke." You said confused. After his laughter died down, he responded.

"No it's not that, it's just me and my brother have been working the werewolf case here for over two weeks now trying to find the damn thing. My brother said that he tracked it in the woods, going after some chick and put a bullet in its shoulder. As you said though it wasn't silver so we've been trying to find where it had gone since then," It was your turn to laugh.

"Small world huh?" You smiled.

"Yeah." He laughed, pulling you closer to him and turning out the light. You slept soundly that night.

In the morning you woke up to the man from last night falling over.

"You alright?" You asked, trying not to laugh.

"Yeah... Just tripped over my pants..." He grumbled. He quickly got dressed after that, while you stayed in the bed and simply watched him go about his morning.

"This is where I say goodbye." He said, placing a kiss on your scarred cheek making you blush. He crossed the room to the door, as he reached for the handle you spoke.

"Wait," You said. He halted his movements and looked at you, "I never got your name. Mine is Y/N" He smirked at you, pulling open the door.

"Dean." He said before slipping out.

"Dean. I need to get out of this. I can't hunt anymore..."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey all, I'm Posting five chapters today. I don't know how often I'll be able to update it here but it is u on wattpad if you want more regular updates. Search for me at mynamemeanshero.


	3. Learning Names

Present day

Panting and heaving you ran through the dense foggy forest, someone was chasing you. Something was chasing you. You whipped your head around to spot glowing green eyes in the darkness. Panicking, you ran even harder, only to be shoved to the ground. The thing with green eyes walked up to you, a huge black weapon in his hand, handle made of bone. Your eyes traced up the creatures bloody body, reaching its face. Dean. He raised his menacing weapon and with a loud growl, brought it down towards your neck.

"Y/N?! Y/N!!" You woke up to strong hands shaking you, a voice yelling your name in a panic. A dog whining by your side. It took you a moment to realize your surroundings.

"Oh my god Y/N I was so worried about you, it's been so long since you've had a nightmare that bad, are you okay?" You turned to look at the man laying beside you.

"Yeah, Jim, sweetheart I'm fine. I'm gonna go get something to drink, just go back to sleep okay?" You smiled and kissed him before sliding out of the king sized bed.

"Don't be too long, I love you." He grinned back at you. You left the room, softly clicking the door shut behind you and made your way downstairs into the kitchen. Riot, your German Shepard, close by your side. Reaching the kitchen you got yourself a nice glass of your favorite whiskey. You smiled as you took a sip. You had been living with Jim for about a year and a half now. You two met a couple months after you stopped hunting and really hit it off. You dated for a year before he proposed to you, you've been married for just barely two months now. He loves you, scars and all. He doesn't know about your hunting life, but that didn't stop you from warding the house against everything you knew existed. That and stashing guns, salt and holy water everywhere. After you had been dating for a while he got you a German Shepard puppy for your birthday, he knew you always wanted one. You trained that pup to be the best god damn watch dog there ever was. He knew how to track various supernatural things. When he needed dental work done, you had had them replace the damaged and missing teeth with silver and iron teeth. Riot is a damn good hunter and protector, and he would protect you until he died.

You finished your drink and headed upstairs, back to bed. You weren't asleep long until you heard Riot barking and you shot straight up, pulling your knife out from under your pillow looking for whatever the danger was. Glancing around the room you noticed Jim wasn't there.

"Jim? Jimmy?! JIM?" You ran around the house searching for him. Yelling his name, all the while Riot was barking and howling. You almost didn't notice the lights flicker in and out until a piercing screech silenced both your shouts and Riot's howls. You collapsed on the ground, clutching your ears while Riot pawed at his own. Quickly though, the screech died into a pleasant whisper that made you feel calm inside. Looking down at your dog you saw he was still pawing at his ears. You knelt down trying to comfort him before you were interrupted by a blinding light. You peered into this light through squinted eyes at a beautiful and powerful figure within. You gaped at the being before you. Purity was the only word on your mind as you gazed into the celestial light. Yet, just like that the light and whispering was gone as soon as it came. You quickly regained your senses and turned your attention to Riot.

"Hey buddy, it's okay." You cooed, but he wasn't paying attention to you. He was staring at something behind you, teeth bared. You slowly grabbed the knife that had fallen to your left.

"Identify." You whispered to Riot. He barked five times.

"What the hell?" You thought to yourself. "One bark - demon. Two - vamp. Three - werewolf. Four - ghost. Five - ? " You had trained him to be able to identify the basic monsters, but you had only ever trained him to identify four different species... You panicked. Spinning your body around you plunged the hunting knife into the body of the creature behind you, trusting that you had understood Riot correctly. Looking up at the face of the creature, you froze.

"No..." You choked out, voice breaking. "No!" You began sobbing. "Jimmy, I'm so sorry... R-Riot, he- oh my god... Jim..." The man in front of you looked down at the knife in his chest, and looked to you before yanking it out of his chest.

"Who is Jimmy?" He said in a low, gruff voice. You backed up as he walked towards you. His electric blue eyes staring deep into yours.

"Jimmy? What- who- how- wha-" He cut you off by covering your mouth with his large hand. He pressed his palm to your forehead and you erupted with a warmth that quickly turned into a searing pain throughout your head. You let out a loud screech, almost fainting when he pulled his hand away.

"I am sorry, I had to find out what you know." He said simply. You ignored him.

"What the hell have you done to Jim?" You spat out through clenched teeth.

"I have done nothing to Jim. He is still here inside his head." The man paused, as if listening. "He truly loves you. Human emotions are bizarre are they not?" The man seemed to be honestly curious.

"Get out of him you son of a bitch." You growled.

"Jim is a devout man. He prayed to have a higher purpose." The man stated, as if it were clear as day.

"Give him back to me. Now." Your hunter voice was coming out, at least that what your little brother had called it.

"Y/N Novak-"

"How do you know my name?"

"Miss Novak, Jim is my true vessel, all those in direct lineage of him are deceased. He has given me permission to use him as my vessel, under the condition that I protect you. It has been over two years since I have used my vessel, Jim has allowed me to return." The man wearing Jim explained.

"Well mister..." You imitated his speech.

"Castiel. Just Castiel." He stated.

"Well 'Just Castiel' I don't give a flying rats ass about him being your one true vessel or that you're now sworn to protect me. That is my husband. The man I love. You are wearing him like clothing. I don't even know what the hell you are, or how you were able to get in here and possess him. He's got the tattoo! And the wards on the house? How the hell did you get past those?" You yelled into his face.

"You do not have angel warding on the house. The tattoo, is anti-demon. I am an angel of the lord." He said, puffing his chest out slightly as lightening flashed outside.

"Skip the theatrics asshole.Angels aren't real. I've already seen you through that bright ass light and heard your creepy whispering about 'the Winchester men'. You are no angel. Get the hell out of my husband!" You yelled into his face, jabbing a finger into his chest. He looked down at your hand with confusion.

"Wait what?" His blue eyes met your stunning E/C, his eyebrows knit in concern or confusion you couldn't tell which.

"I said: Get. The. Hell. Out. Of. My. Husband!" You spat into his face.

"No, you said you saw me through a bright light, and heard talk of the Winchesters? Are you a prophet?" He questioned you with an intense stare.

"A proph- What? No! What's a prophet? Who are the Winchesters?" You pressed him for information.

"You are very special Y/N. Not many people can handle my true form. I am impressed." His eyes gleamed as if proud of you. You scoffed at him and the light died.

"Who are the Winchesters?" You asked again.

"My friends." He stated, you thought with a hint of sadness but your anger wouldn't let you feel sympathy.

"What? You have friends? What normal person would be friends with you?" You scoffed at him, he almost flinched at your harsh words.

"These men are hunters. Just like you. Although they are in trouble. I must go help." And with that, Jim - no, Castiel was gone. You looked around the room in a state of shock. You looked down at Riot, who was laying across the floor on his side, staring up at you with big brown eyes.

"An angel of the lord huh? Guess I know what five barks means now..." You laughed, trying to lighten the dreadfully one sided conversation. You quickly grabbed your laptop and started doing some heavy duty research on Angels. Specifically how to get them out and keep them out. But to no avail, there was almost nothing on Angels anywhere. Anger and hatred began to burn deep inside you. You ran around the house, collecting various weapons and cash stashes, and shoving it all into the already half full secret compartment in the back of your truck, starting the three day journey to your safe house.

Once you reached the end your journey, the end of the winding driveway, you ran inside as fast as you could, Riot trotting on your heels. You quickly set up shop in the expansive library, looking for anything marked with Angels or God or anything. You checked your dads journal. Your grandparents journal. Your great grandparents journal. Nothing came up. You spent a countless amount of days researching. But still you had nothing to go off of. You let out an angry roar and shoved everything off the desk. The dog at your feet whined. You glanced down at the pile of books and journals on the ground in the corner and noticed a crack in the wall, but it was too perfect to have been there naturally. Hell, it looked like someone had cut into the wall, planning a door or something and changed their mind and just painted over it. You knelt down and rapped on the wall with your knuckle. Sure enough it was hollow.

"What the hell?" You thought to yourself. You stood up and braced yourself against the two walls around you and kicked hard into the wall. It gave way instantly. Clearing away the rubble and dust, you reached inside the hole. Within moments, a small leather bound object came within grasp. You pulled it out to reveal what appeared to be a journal. Wiping the dust off of it you opened it to its first page. The date? April. In 1627 that is. On the inside cover you looked for a name, what you found was a name all right. But you were not expecting it to be Charlie Y/L/N.

"Jesus... It seriously is in my blood to be a hunter isn't it?" You couldn't help but be proud of your heritage. A family of hunters, stretching back 400 years, probably more. You smiled a little bit before returning to the journal in your hands. Sifting through it you saw mentions of angels and the like, but it was all just rumors and speculation. A lot about how they once walked the Earth with humans, but nothing about an "angel exorcism". Only that the vessel had to say no to being used as a vessel. After reading that journal, you proceeded to do some research on the Winchesters. Picking up your laptop, you filtered though old news reports and a couple hundred pictures. Only ever was there a clear shot of the taller man though. You giggled at his long hair. You set up a face recognition software on your computer and had it run tall man's face across every security camera on the United States. You quickly fell asleep, only to be awoken by a high pitched pinging sound come from your computer. You clicked on the notification. It was a video feed your software picked up. It was the Winchesters. You scanned the screen for the taller boy, and found him quickly. Not hard to miss, you found him walking with the shorter man again. You thought about how you wish they, along with Castiel, were here to answer your questions. At that same moment, three men appeared in your living room. Riot was instantly at attention, scanning the men for any danger.

"What the hell Sammy?" The shorter man said in a low and angry voice. They didn't notice you at the desk.

"I have no idea..." The taller man spoke. "We were just in Washington. Where the hell are we?" The shorter man had his back to you but you could swear you'd seen him before. Your eyes scanned the two men closest to you before drifting to the third. He you recognized instantly.

"Jim!" You ran over to him, ready for the familiar warm embrace, the kind look in his soft blue eyes, the smirk that often crossed his lips. But you were met with stiff posture, an icy stare, and everything but a smirk. It was then that you knew you were never getting your Jimmy back. You didn't notice as the two men behind you withdrew their guns.

"No." Ji- Castiel said. "She is harmless." The boys lowered their weapons. "Well not harmless," they raised them again. "She was, is, a hunter. The last hunt she did was a werewolf two years ago. A man with green eyes helped her realize she needed out. It appears that I have dragged her back into this life. She married my vessel." Castiel explained to the boys as you sat in a grieving heap on the floor.

"Hey, it's okay. What's your name?" A voice you recognized to be "Sammy" spoke soothingly into your ear as he wrapped you into a tight embrace.

"Y/N" you choked out, throat tight in grief. The other man beside you gasped, he knelt down and laid a hand on your cheek bringing your gaze to his.

"I couldn't forget that intense E/C gaze anywhere. Hey Y/N. Everything will be okay. I promise." The shorter man spoke.

"D-Dean?" You were confused. You flinched away from his hand, remembering the dream. Why was he here? Why were any of them here? "What's going on?" You asked quietly. Castiel answered.

"Like I told you four weeks ago, I needed to find my friends." He explained.

"Wait four weeks ago? God I can't even keep track of time..." The electric blue gaze never left your face as you tried to puzzle out this situation. "Wait, what does this have anything to do with me?" You questioned.

"Well, you married my vessel. If Jimmy Novak can trust you, I can too." Castiel stated as if it were obvious.

"So? What does that have to do with anything?" You were growing tired with grief and anger. You voice was beginning to break and the fight in you was slowly dying down. You just wanted Jimmy back. You wanted your life.

"I assumed you would come back to the bunker with us." Castiel spoke in a dead pan voice as Sam and Dean gaped at him, shaking their heads slightly.

"Oh well then. Who says I want to?" You spat at him. The man who took your husband.

"My father obviously brought us together for a reason." Was all he replied. You scoffed at that.

"Who God? Yeah like he gives a shit..." You muttered. "Do you realize what happened to my family? What has happened to me? I'm not one to believe in God." You shifted away from the men before you. "Get out of my house. And if you ever think about coming back, assume that I have a way to kill you. All of you." You glowered at the men before you. Riot came to your side, snarling. Castiel, knelt down in front of Riot and touched a finger to his nose. Instantly the snarls turned to happy yips and Riot pounced around the room trying to play with the three men.

"What the hell did you do?" You snapped.

"I told him everything. You have a gifted creature here. He has abilities beyond that of a normal dog." Castiel grinned slightly at the animal. Another wave of grief washed over you, it was the same smile that you fell in love with. Just not the same man.

"That 'creature' has a name. You growled at him. "Riot." Castiel looked confused, he tilted his head and squinted at the dog. Concentrating almost. On what, you couldn't tell. Sam and Dean were on the ground playing with Riot when the dog looked up at Castiel with his own head at a tilt.

"No. That is not his name. It is what you call him. He prefers that name to his own though." Castiel told you. You must have had an astonished look on your face because after he glanced at you he explained further.

"His real name is Djorndkyrd. He prefers 'Riot' to that though." Your gaze ripped into Castiel before responding.

"So you can talk to dogs?" You pressed.

"No. I told you, Riot has abilities." He stated as if it were plain as day.

"Oh well then I guess everything makes sense now." You said sarcastically.

"Good. I'll be seeing you two in the future. Goodbye Y/N. Goodbye Djorndkyrd." Castiel walked over to Sam and Dean, gripped their shoulders and disappeared. You looked at Riot.

"Well I guess he doesn't understand sarcasm. What the hell do we do now?" Riot just blinked at you.

"Djorndkyrd huh? How come he can talk to you and I can't?" Riot barked at you five times.

"Oh right. Angel." You scoffed at that. "What next then?" You looked around the room as if it would tell you what to do. Riot trotted away from you, only to return carrying your duffel bag. You glanced at the animal, his tail wagging.

"You want me to go to their 'bunker' don't you?" Riot responded with a short and happy yip. "How?" Five barks broke the silence. "Castiel?"

"Yes?" Said a low voice behind you causing you to jump and pull out your knife.

"God damn it Castiel! Don't do that!" You snapped at him, anger rising quickly. Riot barked from behind you as if reminding you.

"Great, I'm talking to my dog, there's a crazy teleporting guy in my safe house, in my HUSBANDS BODY, and my fucking dog wants me to leave all of my belongings behind. My library, my study, my families home." You thought to yourself.

"I told you, your dog has abilities beyond that of a normal dog. I am not crazy and I am sorry your husband is my vessel. If you truly want to come to the bunker, I can bring all of your physical items in this house with is when we go. Unfortunately, I cannot bring the house." He responded to your thoughts.

"Of course he can read minds. Because why the fuck not?" You yelled inside your head. "Well, may as well go."

"Good. When we arrive all of your belongings will already be there in a room ready to go, your books and research will be consolidated into the library of that is okay. It will be as if you had been living there for years." He explained to you, as if trying to keep you calm or relaxed. You had no idea how he would be able to do that but as long as you didn't have to move your stuff you didn't care. He reached out two fingers toward your forehead. You flinched and raised your hands in alarm.

"It is the fastest way to travel. We will be there instantly if you allow me to touch you." You lowered your hands in acceptance of what he said.

"Wait!" You said suddenly, "what about Riot?" You asked.

"Riot will be there." Castiel assured, raising his hand yet again. You bristled at the thought of another man using your husbands body to touch you. You closed your eyes before his hand reached your head, when you reopened them you were standing in a room full of your stuff neatly organized into cubbies, shelves, and dressers. There was a bed in the corner away from the door against the wall with your favorite sheets on it. You walked towards the bathroom connected to your room. Sure enough all of your usual toiletries were there. Everything was where you would have put it had you been the one to organize the room. For that you were thankful. You continued roaming around the room until you heard someone clear their throat from behind you. You turned around.

"Ji-! Oh. Hi Castiel." You said, disappointment evident in your voice.

"Is the room okay?" He asked ignoring your comment.

"Yes, only where is Riot?" You realized your beloved dog wasn't there. Castiel whistled and your little buddy came running in. You knelt down and have him a hug.

"Everything is fine now Castiel." You told him. "Well, not fine. But who would care about me and my thoughts and feelings?" You thought to yourself, forgetting that Castiel could hear your thoughts.

"Call me Cas." He said before disappearing somewhere.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave kudos and comments so i know you're liking the story :)


	4. Back At It

You ripped though the woods, bare feet thumping on the rough ground, scraping your raw feet. You had been running for what felt like forever, but you weren't tired. You could feel the huge amounts of adrenaline in your system as you ran from your assailant. The green eyed man with the huge black weapon. He chased you relentlessly through the night, that is until your already raw foot landed on a jagged rock causing you to trip and fall to the ground, writhing in pain. You screeched in horror as the green eyed man stalked towards you, a murderous look in his eyes. He stepped into a shaft of moonlight and only one word escaped your lips.

"Dean."

You jolted awake, panting and in a pool of your own sweat. Riot remained on his bed, fast asleep. You slid out of your own bed and into the chair near your desk. The cool wood draining the heat from your body, allowing you to relax. You looked at the glowing blue numbers on your alarm clock. It read 2:37 am. You sighed and stood, making your way through the labyrinth of hallways to the kitchen, opting for a glass of whiskey. Your nightmares had been getting worse since you moved into the bunker a month ago. More vivid. More frequent. More violent. They had gone from maybe once a month to once every few days, and in the past week, every day. It was becoming increasingly hard to interact with Dean without flinching. You refused to go on hunts with him. Or any hunts for that matter. The only reason you were here was for Jim. Jimmy Novak. Your beloved husband. Although you hadn't seen him, well, Castiel since he left you and Riot at the bunker.

"Y/N?" A low voice from behind you broke your thoughts, causing you to jump. You twisted around ready to fight when your searing E/C eyes met glowing green eyes. You yelped as thoughts of your nightmare returned and sent you stumbling backward into the counter. The contact with the hard surface behind you surprised you and you dropped your glass of whiskey.

"Hey! Hey! Hey! It's alright!" Dean chuckled, "it's just me, come on help me clean this up." He bent down and began to pick up shards of glass. You hesitated, afraid he may attack you but you realized it was just paranoia talking and bent down to help.

"What was all that about?" He asked you as the both of you picked up the final pieces of glass.

"You just scared me was all. I wasn't expecting anyone else to be up this early." You lied, you still didn't trust either of these boys. Especially Dean. They were just tools to get to Jimmy.

"I don't think so. Scared is 'Oh my god don't do that Dean you scared me!' followed by a smack on the arm and a flirty smile. Not leaping ten feet, almost punching me, screaming when you see me, running away and dropping your glass." He looked into your eyes, you quickly looked away. The intense green triggering violent images in your mind.

"What can I say, I over react." You dead panned. He rolled his eyes and went into the refrigerator, pulling out a pie and cutting himself a slice.

"Wan shum?" He asked with a face stuffed with pie.

"Sorry I don't speak pie." You gave him an annoyed smile before grabbing the whiskey bottle and a new glass out of the cupboard, "but enjoy yourself!" You shot over your shoulder as you walked back to your room. You opened the door to see Riot sitting directly in the door way, obviously upset that you had left him there.

"Sorry buddy, just a nightmare." You sighed at him, bringing the whiskey to your bed and flopping under the covers. Riot quickly followed you into the bed, curling up at your feet. He did this often when you had nightmares, it helped you feel safer. Although, tonight, you just wanted to drink your sorrows away.

Mom was dead. One glass. Dad was probably dead. Two glasses. Your brother was probably dead. Three glasses. Jimmy was gone. Four glasses. Castiel held him hostage. Five glasses. While wearing him like a suit. Six glasses.

You were about to pour a seventh when you realized the bottle was empty. You stood shakily, stumbling your way to the kitchen. The empty bottle clattering to the floor as you made your way though the dim hallways. When you arrived to a large room you expected to be the kitchen, you were surprised to find yourself in front of a piano.

You sat down and plucked out a tune, the notes quickly forming a familiar song underneath your deft fingers. You swayed to the flowing music you were creating, beginning to sing along with the sad melody.  
I heard there was a secret chord,   
that David played and it pleased the lord.   
But you don't really care for music do you?   
Well it goes like this the fourth the fifth the minor fall, the major lift.   
The baffled king composing hallelujah.   
Hallelujah,   
hallelujah,   
hallelujah,   
hallelujah.  
Tears began to stream down your cheeks as you remembered times you would sing your little brother to sleep when he woke with nightmares or when he was sick or when that demon broke in the house and while your dad fought you just sang. The music continuously flowed from your mouth like gold and the notes from your fingertips like passion. You were putting every emotion into this song, about your family, about Jimmy, everything. You didn't care if you were being loud, you didn't care if the boys could hear you. You were positive that Cas could hear you, wherever he was. You just kept singing. You weren't aware that you had gathered an audience until you heard a quiet sniffle behind you as the song tapered off. You didn't want to turn around in fear that it was Dean, so you didn't. You just kept playing the piano, making it up as you went along. Trying to distract yourself by composing a piece that after this day would never be heard again. You felt something by your foot vibrating which caused your song to stop short. Frowning, you looked down to find Riot growling at someone behind you. You turned around to see who it was, but they were gone before you saw them. All you could hear was the swishing of pants down the hallway. Sighing you turned towards the piano once again, deciding to go to bed and get ready for the grand mal hangover tomorrow. And by get ready, you meant collapse on the closest horizontal surface.

You slowly woke to a quiet conversation happening in the same room as you. It was the boys, having a quiet argument. You heard your name and tried to remain quiet.

"Dean, this is hard for her okay? Her husbands body has been taken over by an angel, she was forced back into this life by her dog for gods sake. We can't tell her, she'll freak."

"Yes I'm sure she will. But honestly what bad can come out of it? She is more powerful than anyone we've ever met. If she can learn to use her power..."

"Damn it Dean, I know better than most that having power - no matter your intentions - can be a very bad thing." Then another hushed voice spoke. You instantly recognized it to be that of your Jimmy.

"I agree with Sam, telling her will not help matters. She holds a very high and powerful rank, it is rumored that she also maintained very unorthodox, almost illegal relationships. She held a high and precarious rank. It will all be hard to return to. We must give her time to realize on her own, accept her reality, and hopefully make the right decision." Castiel said. His voice almost void of emotion, the memory of your Jimmy filled your mind, full of love and happiness filled your mind causing your body to shake with the brutal sobs that wracked your body.

What the hell are they talking about? Me in a powerful position? A being of extreme power? What the hell? Your breathing quickened and your cries became audible. That finally caught their attention, Cas was the first to notice.

"Y/N? What is wrong? Why are you crying? Are you sad?" He questioned you frantically, trying to find the cause of your sudden outburst. You responded between sobs.

"Give him back to me." You wrapped your arms around Castiel's neck and his arms awkwardly wrapped around you. The fact that it wasn't Jimmy just made you cry harder, he didn't even smell like Jim anymore. You threw yourself off of him and onto the couch in frustrated sadness. Sam walked over and sat by your legs, reaching to stroke your forearm draped across your hip.

"Hey, I'm sorry Y/N. I wish we could change this I really do." He said sadly. You shrugged his hand off.

"I don't want to see him ever again unless he is my Jimmy." You spat bitterly.

"Y-Y/N...?" A tentative voice behind you said.

"Castiel, you fucking heard me. Get out of my sight before I rip you apart." You raised a hand out from between the couch cushions, producing and angel blade that you had stashed. You heard a gasp from Sam and Dean and smirked but it quickly died when you heard the voice again.

"No... It-it's me, Y/N. It's Jimmy." Your head whipped around to face your husband, you looked into his eyes, seeing the beautiful baby blue and not the piercing cobalt you had just moments earlier. You saw his nervous smirk, his posture shift from rigid to relaxed, you saw Jimmy in all the tiny nuances that you so dearly missed.

"Oh my god, Jimmy!" You jumped up from the couch and leaped into his arms.

"I missed you so much, I love you so much Jimmy." You sobbed into his shoulder.

"I love you too." He mumbled into your hair. "But I'm not back forever. This is just for the moment, Cas wanted to give me a chance to say goodbye or something. I just know you won't see the real me for a very long time and I had to tell you I love you, and I forgive you. I know you feel guilty about the whole hunter thing but I don't care. I love you so much, you are beautiful and kind and strong. I've seen you through my own eyes and through the eyes of Castiel. He wants to protect you, let him. Please. He is coming back, please my love promise me you'll accept this and know I'll always be watching over you." He placed a passionate kiss on your lips.

"I promise..." You whispered into his lips as his eyes began to shift from the baby blue to the cold and unforgiving cobalt. You kept your forehead against his as he began to flow in a bright light. Everyone turned away but you stared straight into it. Sam tried to tell you to look away but you just ignored him. Daring Cas to burn your eyes out. But looking at his true form didn't and you still didn't know why. You looked into your husbands eyes one final time, praying to see the familiar sky blue eyes but you were met with the starkness of his stiff gaze. Your heart sank. Riot came running to your side, afraid you were hurt after the blinding light. You roughed up his fur and sighed, tears brimming your eyes. You refused to look back up at Cas.

"What's next angel?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope y'all are enjoying the story! Remember, it is also up on wattpad. Search my username: mynamemeanshero.


	5. The First Hunt

"What's next angel?" You refused to look at Castiel, still playing with Riots fur.

"There are a few demons nearby, I can sense them." He looked at you as he spoke, you could feel his eyes on the back of your head.

"I guess we should go take care of that." You took a deep breath and looked up at Sam and Dean. "You in?" You asked them. Sam glanced at Dean who nodded.

"Yeah, Y/N, just- this is your first hunt. First day back in the game, are you sure you want to take on some demons?" He asked you as if trying to keep from hurting your feelings. As if you could be anymore broken.

"I'll be fine." You snapped, glaring at him. You knew he was right, but you had to test your limits to know what you could handle. Like being thrown into the lake for the first time and being told to swim.

An hour or so of driving later, you pulled up to an old rickety looking house. Crawling with demons.

"So, Cas, we in the right spot?" Dean asked, glancing in the rear the mirror.

"Yes." You and Cas spoke in tandem. You shot him an irritated glance.

"Of course we're in the right spot you dumbass. Just look at them." Your words dripping with venom. Dean looked through his binoculars at the group of men standing by the front door to the house.

"Yeah... I'm not seeing what you're seeing Y/N." He said to you, obviously confused. You scowled at him and turned to look out the window to your left only to see Castiel's equally confused expression.

"Guys, we gonna gank these SOBs or what?" Your irritated voice flowed into the car, setting the boys even more on edge.

"Alright let's go." Sam finally said, breaking the silence. "Here, Y/N, take this. Kills demons." He extended a small blade to you, a handle made out of what looked like bone. You scoffed at his blade.

"I'm actually okay. Thanks though." You said, pulling out your own silver blade and twirling it in your hands. Castiel gaped at you. You looked over at Sam and Dean, they were equally surprised.

"If a bit of blade twirling gets y'all that excited, wait till you see me in action." You smirked at them.

"W-Where did you get the blade?" Sam asked you, almost nervous.

"Had it for as long as I can remember. Kills everything I've come across." You smiled down at the blade, thinking about every scrap it got you through.

"Y/N, how did you get the angle blade? This is not such an item that is easily acquired." Cas growled at you, he seemed to be growing anxious.

"Oh don't tell me, this can kill you can't it?" Your question was met with silence. You erupted in a mechanical laugh at this.

"Holy shit it can." Your smile grew. "Oh god you are lucky Jimmy is your vessel, if he weren't you'd be dead by now." You laughed half heartedly.

"Let's just go." Castiel said through gritted teeth. You all clambered out of the impala which, if you didn't hate Dean, you would have admired. But you didn't want them to think they would be able to break you with cars and beer. You hated them. You just needed them to get Jimmy back.

The four of you made your way over to the group of six demons. You took up the left side, walking ahead and acting like a scared lost girl. Two of the men came up to you.

"You lost little lady?" One of them said, getting close to you and gripping your arm tightly.

"Y-Yeah, I uh I can't find service and uhm and I'm lost uh is there- can you- is there any cell service around here?" You asked 'nervously' as you fumbled in your pockets, as if looking for a phone. When your hand found your blade, the demon that wasn't gripping your arm suddenly flashed and fell to the ground causing him buddy to become distracted. You smirked.

"Nevermind. I got it." You said as you stabbed him in the chest, watching the yellow flash with satisfaction. You turned to face Dean, acknowledging that he helped you, you have him a small nod before going in search of more demons. You quickly discovered that Sam and Cas had each taken out one leaving only two left. The four of you regrouped and went in.

Sam was the first to attack, going on for an easy kill, demon knife to the back. Only to be short stopped by a hand around the wrist. Sam looked up and was met with the black eyes of a red haired demon. You quickly followed and were able to land a stab to Red's abdomen but he barely flinched. Your eyes grew wide as he flung you against the side of the house. As you struggled to break free of the demons power you watched as with a flick of his wrist, Red broke Sam's arm. The other demon, black eyes with hair to match, was currently sparring with Cas, and with a glance you saw Dean passed out at the base of a tree. The situation was growing dire and you were growing angry and desperate. You felt almost white hot with rage and despair. You glanced at your comrades once more, Dean: incapacitated, Sam: fending off a demon with one good arm and no weapon, Cas: struggling to keep up with the powerful demon speed, and you. You were helplessly pinned against the wall. You let out an ear shattering screech full of rage before you blacked out.

You woke up slowly, keeping your eyes closed trying to savor the last few minutes of relaxation. You were about to sit up when you heard footsteps coming towards you. The bed you were on dipped slightly as someone sat down beside you, but you remained still. Refusing to fully awaken.

"Y/N. I swore to protect you because it was your husbands wish. But now, I do not know whether to protect you or run from you." Castiel spoke in a quiet voice. You felt a hand reach and gently run through your hair. It was quickly retracted as you heard more footsteps enter the room.

"Cas what the hell happened back there?" You heard Dean whisper angrily.

"I do not know. I thought her power was stripped away..." He responded, obviously confused. "She spoke in Enochian though. That much I do know. It's just... Odd." He finished.

"What? Odd how?" Sam pressed.

"She said 'Ol vinu alonusahi lap quasaba' which roughly translated to 'I invoke my powers for your destruction'." Cas told the boys.

'What the hell? What are they talking about?' You didn't know what 'Enochian' was, you didn't know about any powers you had, you didn't know shit.

"Can you like read her mind or something? Figure out what the hell is going on? Why she's here?" Dean asked, it seemed to you like he was just spouting ideas off.

"Her mind is blocked to me. I can not get in." Castiel replied. That much you were grateful for. You didn't want anyone poking around in your head.

The boys continued to talk about what happened with the demons. From what you understood, after you screamed and blacked out your eyes began to glow a deep maroon color and your body emitted a bright light, alike in color to your eyes, you yelled something in Enochian, and the two remaining demons, who you can to discover were knights of hell, just disintegrated into embers.

As their conversation drifted you slipped back into unconsciousness but you were quickly woken by Riot. You felt his cold wet nose wriggle its way under your hand. He did this whenever he needed to go outside. You groaned and pushed yourself up off the bed, taking a few wobbly steps before deciding to use the wall as support. You made your way to the bunker door and walked Riot out to go the the bathroom. You leaned against the wall, trying to catch your breath when you heard shouting inside the bunker.

"Y/N?! WHERE IS SHE?" You heard Sam bellow. Cas and Dean were also calling your name.

"I'm just outside with Riot!" You half shouted at them. Your throat and voice too raw to speak at a louder volume. You called after Riot and hobbles back into the bunker.

"What are you doing up?" Cas growled at you before putting your arm around his shoulders.

"Riot needed to go outside." You told him as you allowed him to take on your weight.

"You need to lay down I cannot heal you." He said softly as he gently put you back on your bed.

"What happened with the demons?" You asked him. " I blacked out." You stated. You wanted to make it seem like you had t heard them earlier. You wondered if they would tell you the truth. Cas spoke first.

"You got pinned against the house, and ended up saving us all with an extremely powerful spell." He told you.

"A spell? I don't know any spells." You told him truthfully. You just knew a few exorcisms. "How did I do it?" You asked him.

"We don't know." Sam answered your question. "To find out we need something from you." He said gently, as if trying to convince you.

"Alright, what do you need?" You asked. "Is there something wrong with me?" You asked the three boys.

"I need your permission to taste your blood." Castiel told you blatantly.

"What the hell?" You exclaimed.

"For some reason, I cannot do anything to you or anything that contains your DNA without asking permission. We already tried to test your blood but it ended up evaporating before we could do anything." He explained to you, as if it were obvious.

"No I kind of meant why do you need to TASTE it." You snapped at him.

"That is how I determine what you are or how you got your powers." He was obviously growing irritated now. You glanced shakily at your arm before taking the knife on your nightstand and creating a gash along your forearm, holding it out for Cas to catch the blood that flew freely. He collected a few drops on his palm before bringing his hand to his mouth and licking his palm. You, Sam, and Dean watched him closely. Anticipating the answer this would bring. Castiel locked his lips and looked at you in confusion before his eyes widened and a terrified expression overtook his face. He kept away from you and fell against the wall behind him. Collapsing in a horrified heap on the ground.

"Cas? What's wrong buddy?" Dean walked over to the unmoving angel, trying to break him from his trance. Sam glanced at you with concern etching his features before helping Dean remove Cas from the room.

You sat on the bed trying to figure out what had just happened. You had never seen anyone look at you with such horror on their faces.

'Why did he seem so confused? He said before he knew I was powerful. That I was some supernatural being. What changed?' Questions ran rampant through your mind, but your thoughts were halted when Sam came back into the room and pulled up a chair to sit across from you. You stared at him expectantly. He seemed to be studying you, trying to figure something out.

"Y/N." His tone was stern but cautious, something that worried you. Riot seemed to sense this and appeared by your side. Growling possessively as if warning Sam. You tried to calm him down with a pat to the shoulder but it didn't seem to do any good.

"You are, uhm, well. You're powerful. Truthfully? You're the most powerful thing we've ever seen and uhm.."

"Thing?" You interrupted him. "Thing? Are you saying I'm not human?" As you began to tense, so did Riot.

"Well, not entirely. You're kind of a-"

"You're a hybrid. An extremely powerful one." Sam was cut off by an impatient Dean who had appeared in the doorway.

"What am I?" You asked quietly. You weren't sure that you wanted to know the answer.

"Well, originally, you were the most powerful angel in existence. Second only to God himself." Dean began as gently as his gruff demeanor would allow. "But you took the blame for Lucifer's fall. You fell from Heaven."

"How... How do you know this?" You were confused. You didn't remember any of this. You had a normal life! You grew up from birth. You were normal!

"Castiel, he could sense it. You were a type of queen in heaven. He said any angel would be able to sense you." Sam responded to your question.

"Then why did he need my blood? Why was he so scared?" You pushed, growing frustrated at your existence.

"Because of the demon fight. Your grace glowed red instead of blue. Cats figured that when you fell, you fell into hell. Where Lucifer took advantage of your lost grace and attempted to turn you into a Knight of Hell by cursing you with the Mark of Cain." Dean continued his story.

"So I'm an angel and a demon. Great. But wouldn't that negate my power?" You wondered aloud.

"It should have. But your grace reactivated and fed on the power of the Mark." Your confusion must have been evident because Sam explained.

"The scar on your left hip," he tapped his own torso, just above his left leg. "Remnant of the Mark." You lifted the waistband of your pants, looking at the scar.

"No, my dad said when I was young I fell down a hill and hit a rock." You told them, desperate for this not to be your life. Sam just looked down at his hands.

"God why can't I just be human?" You asked no one in particular. It was then that Cas appeared in the doorway.

"You are." He said simply. You looked up at him surprised, Dean and Sam were equally confused.

"I don't know how, but you made it to Earth. Your memory was obviously wiped, and you were born into a human family." He attempted to explain.

"But wouldn't that just make my body a vessel?" You asked him. Even more confused than you had been previously.

"Yes and no. It is your true vessel yes, but in your time as a human you developed a soul. Tying you to this vessel. And since your grace and the power of the Mark are returning at full power, you will have no need for another vessel." Cas told you.

"Why were you so afraid of me Cas?" You asked him, nervous to broach the subject. He almost flinched at the question but answered anyway.

"My savior, when I am afraid because you are tainted. Evil had been forced into your grace. The Great Savior has been tainted by the fires of hell." He told you softly, looking at his feet.

"Ying Yang though, right? Wait Great Savior? Why are you calling me that?" You shot at him.

"When Lucifer fell, God lost all faith in the Angels. If his favorite son could be corrupted, so could all of us. He would have destroyed us if you hadn't sacrificed yourself." He explained yet another piece of your own history you didn't remember. Castiels gaze remained on his feet, studying the ground intently.

"What is Ying Yang?" He asked quietly. You were about to respond when Deans voice filled the air.

"It's a saying, there will always be good within the bad and bad within the good." Cas then looked at you with your husbands eyes, the expression on his face was familiar. The same one you saw the day Jimmy had proposed to you. Hope.

"Are you Ying or Yang?" He asked. You looked to Dean for a translation, you didn't know what he meant. Instead, Dean responded for you.

"She has given us no reason to believe that she is more evil than she is good." Dean reassured Cas before looking back over at you. If looks could kill, you'd be dead. He was warning you not to be evil. Cas seemed to relax as Deans grip left his shoulder.

"I want to remember." You said suddenly.

"Cas, can you help her?" Sam asked gently.

"The procedure would be painful. I'm not sure how she would react." He said hesitantly. It was clear on his face, he thought you would kill him in the process.

"Is there any way you could help my re learn how to control my grace then? If we can't do the procedure?" You needed to at least try. Maybe after you could control yourself Cas could help you remember.

"Yes my Savior." He responded, bowing his head.

"Cas, I'm no savior. I'm just Y/N. I only remember the past 27 years of my life. Not the past 27 million years or however old I am." You told him, you didn't want to take credit for something you may have done. You had a hard time believing their history of you, but you went along with it. They seemed genuinely terrified of you.

"Yes my Sa- Y/N." He caught himself. He gave you a hesitant smile and you grinned back at him.

Sam announced that he was going to make dinner and Cas offered to help. They left and you took steps to follow them but a sting hand gripped your bicep and whipped you around. You heard Riot growl.

"If you do anything, anything, that would cause Castiel to lose faith in you, I will kill you. He's only ever spoken of you once. And after he did, we didn't see him for three months. You are the only thing he has any faith in anymore. Not even God. He has felt alone and without purpose for as long as I've known him. Your return has given it back to him. If you do anything to take that away from him I will kill you myself." Dean growled into your ear, his green eyes full of anger and fear. The only response you could muster was a loud gulp and a weak nod.

The two of you walked into the kitchen together and you tried to put a less terrified expression on your face. Upon seeing Cas's reaction to you, you had failed. His eyebrows knit together in concern.

"Y/N? What's wrong?" He asked you softly.

"I'm not hungry, I want to start training right away." You told him through gritted teeth. Trying to turn your fear of Dean into determination. Castiel responded with a nod and led you through the bunker.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys are enjoying, this is the last chapter to be posted for a while, but there will be more chapters coming I promise. If you'd like to read more before they appear here, search my username on wattpad. mynamemeanshero


	6. Memories?

You were sitting across from Castiel. Across from Jimmy, but not really Jimmy. You had a headache, it had been there for weeks. You hadn't slept in four days, hadn't eaten in two. All you did was train, but you weren't getting anywhere. All you would do was hurt yourself.

"Savior- I mean, Y/N. You need to rest." Cas broke your thought pattern.

"NO!" You screeched, your anger bursting a lightbulb in the room. Fear began to ebb its way into your system, the prickling feeling that something bad was going to happen to you, or that you would hurt Jimmy was growing stronger by the minute. Castiel sighed at you.

"Only once more. Then I am leaving." His voice scared but stern. You nodded at him. 

"Begin." You held Cas's shoulder and thought about the gun range. Your eyes scrunching shut. You say there for a few minutes, simply hoping that if you thought about it harder it would work. 

"Y/N, we've been in the gun range for about three minutes now. You can open your eyes." Castiel told you. You slowly squeaked open your eyes, a blinding light filling the crack causing you to wince. When you finally managed to get a look at Cas, you saw he was beaming with pride. But it was then that your headache increased in intensity tenfold. You fell to the ground screaming, lights popping all around you, sparks everywhere. You fell into a pile of glass and cut up your hands and legs. The last thing you saw was Castiel's horrified expression before you blacked out.

Flashback begins   
\- There was a scene displayed before you. It was like a football stadium to the extreme, but instead of an 80 yard field, it was a 10 foot table. You saw two figures at the head of the table. A man and a woman, upon closer inspection you realized it was yourself. On either sides of the table were men and women of what appeared to be some importance. They were debating something. You listened carefully.

"If my most trusted son can be corrupted in such a way, how can I believe my others will not? The Angels are no longer the celestial, pure beings I made them to be..." The man at your side spoke sadly. Recognition sparked in your mind.

'This man is God.' You thought to yourself. The man at the head of the table opposite you and God spoke next.

"Father please, you say I am corrupt but I did it out of love for you!" He cried. You recognized the man to be Lucifer. God slammed a fist down onto the table, causing Lucifers grace to spill from his mouth and banishing him from Heaven. Surprisingly you heard your own voice next. Although it didn't come from you.

"God," you whispered something unintelligible in his ear, "it is my fault he is corrupted. I assigned him the mark, I forced him to keep it for longer than he was physically and mentally able to. It is my fault he has fallen." You watched yourself look down at your feet, looking utterly defeated. God looked over to you, face red, tears in his eyes. He lifted an angel blade to your throat and made a small but deep cut across your throat. You let out a pained screech, causing God to flinch. He lifted a small vial to your throat and a blue essence transferred into it. Tears streamed down your cheeks as he placed his palm against your neck, healing the incision. 

"Y/N, I-" God spoke, but his voice broke in pain. He cleared his throat and continued. "Y/N, I cast you out. I banish you from heaven. You have committed treason of the highest degree. You will live the rest of your days as a human." You watched as He leaned in and whispered something in your ear, causing a sob to wrack your body. 

As you watched the scene before you end, you watched as the large conference-like stadium dissipated, then the Angels at the table, then God, but you yourself remained. Then it all went black. -  
Flashback ends

When you woke, you were surrounded by a half destroyed gun range and a banged up Castiel. When you saw the damage you had done to Jimmy you gasped and slid away.

"I'm so- I- Jim- I- I'm so-" You spat out terrified and apologetic words at the bloodied man before you.

"Y/N, calm down. It's okay." With a wave of his hand the gun range was back to working order. Although he didn't heal himself.

"H-Heal him.." You begged softly. He shook his head no.

"You heal him." He ordered you. All you could do was shake your head no and shrink into yourself.

"Yes. You must learn. Place two fingers on the middle of my forehead and think the word "Heal" or "Mend"." He told you. Again you refused. He stated at you for a minute before letting out a loud whistle. You looked up at him, confused. Riot came running into the room, tail wagging and tongue lolling.

"Heal me, or I kill the dog and you heal him." He said. Riot just sat down at his side, tail wagging. You began to panic, your heartbeat rose and you began to shake, looking back and forth between the two you didn't know what to do.

"5..." Shit.

"4..." Fuck. 

"3..." Cas.

"2..." Riot. 

"1..." Yes, Riot.

"Zero." You let out a scream as you extended your hand towards the two of them, unsure of who it would land on. When the blinding light faded you opened your eyes to see two healthy beings in front of you. The angel one looking shocked. Darkness creeped into your vision as Castiel just stared at you. The last thing you saw before you lost consciousness was him reaching for you as you fell.

Flashback begins   
\- You woke in a grand bedroom, decorated in beautiful light blues and whites more vibrant than you had ever seen. The bed on which you lay was huge, fit for a king and more. The beautiful blue satin sheets kissed your skin. As you slowly woke, feeling refreshed someone came into the room. You recognized him to be God.

"Y/N, my beautiful thing." He smiled warmly at you. You pulled away the sheets, standing up to greet the man when you noticed that you wore no clothes except for a skimpy black thong. Your naked appearance just made you smirk.

"That's my beautiful girl." God pulled you into a tight hug, which you returned. "I have no idea how I managed to land a beautiful girl as you." He gazed into your searing e/c eyes with a love deeper than you would ever know.

"Well, you created me. In a sense, this is incest." You smirked and placed a kiss on the tip of his nose. He looked away from you and cleared his throat.

"What is it?" You asked him.

"See that's the thing, I didn't create you. You technically aren't an angel." He whispered to you, as if afraid. You were stunned. You backed away from him, crossing your arms over your naked form, suddenly insecure. 

"W- what am I?" You spat out at him. "Why would you lie to me?"

"Because you didn't know who you were. I don't know who you are. What you are. But I know I love you." He took a step closer to you, arms outstretched. You shook your head and searched for something to cover yourself with. You quickly found a robe. 

"Fuck you." You spat. -  
Flashback ends

You woke with a start, sitting up so fast you gave yourself a head rush. Rubbing your eyes, you cleared your blurry vision. To your right, you saw Castiel.

"I am not an angel." You told him.

"I know that now." He spoke. 

"How?" 

"Your power, it feels... Different."

"But you tasted my blood? How did you not know?"

"I cannot say I am always the most reliable as I have come to find out." He said, almost crestfallen. 

"Then what am I? Do you know now?" 

"No. I do not. I am sorry."

"No Cas, I'm sorry. Truly." You told him, your voice ridden with guilt.

"What are you sorry for? I do not understand."

"You put your faith in me. I supposedly saved all the angels. But I am not one of you, I am worthless to you and your kind. I'm a fraud and a liar." Your chest felt heavy as sadness permeated your body. He opened his mouth to speak but you waved him off. He took it as a clue to leave your bedroom.

You were grateful for the alone time, you tried to play with your powers but most things you tried (apart from popping lights out of anger) was unsuccessful. You quickly gave up and took a nap, full of nightmares and prices of your past that didn't make sense. After a few hours of fitful sleep you decided to try and figure out what you were. You went into the study and hit the books, reading one after another. Coming up with nothing. Your frustration building, you shoved everything off of the desk and into one corner of the room. You let out a guttural screech and threw a chair against a book case, causing shelves to break. But you heard something odd. You walked over to the bookcase and tapped on the backing with your knuckles. It was hollow. You slammed on the back panels with your fist until it gave way, opening to a small room of yet more bookcases. Quickly scanning them, they appeared to be in alphabetical order. You looked in the A section which turned out to be all about angels. You sifted through a few books and found nothing. You were about to give up when something caught your eye. 

"God's Sins" you read the section title out loud. Quickly scanning through the section, you found the word "lust". You remembered your dream. No, flashback. Right? You didn't know the difference anymore. You began to read through "God's Sins".

"Holy shit..." You breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it took so long to update! I've been busy with school. Sorry this one is shorter, I've got a bad case of writers block. Hope you like! Leave a kudos and a comment so I know what you think!


	7. From Dusk til Dawn

"Holy shit..." You stared at the page in front of you. God had sinned more times than all of the human race combined. How ironic. You continued to read about the man in your dream. Learning he had a sister. Darkness. So he was light she was dark. Interesting. Apparently he trapped her many many years ago. But there was another being mentioned, an elusive being with no known relation or affiliation to either Light or Dark. No name was given either. You saved the page and set the book aside to read later. You continued your search for more on God and the Darkness, looking for information on their origins and anything to do with this mystery being. Not finding much more you closed the books and decided to go to bed.

Flashback begins  
\- You flitted around, laughing and giggling as you destroyed things, caused tensions, and over all made a fuss. You were young and carefree, enjoying messing up the plans the two siblings had. You often caused a rift between the two when you interfered with their work. Often, Light would get mad at Dark for tainting his world with darkness, and Dark would get mad at Light for tainting her own world with light. The game kept up for many many years until they realized that the two of them were not alone in the universe. You became known by two names. Light and Dark both giving you one. Light called you Dusk, and Dark called you Dawn. You carried both light and darkness within you, yet you carried neither. The siblings called you young, childish, an outcast. They said your creator abandoned you halfway through creation. Simply giving up. You were alone, afraid, abandoned. You had no family, friends, or anything to your name. Whatever your name may be. You deemed yourself worthless so you roamed around the universe thoughtlessly bringing nothing but a sense of calm to everything around you. You stopped paying attention after many years and simply got lost within your mind. Stowing away bad memories and feelings, forgetting them. Stowing away everything until you just forgot everything.

Devoid of your memories, you found the nearest world and took a physical form similar to the life within the world. You quickly came to know this place as home. As heaven. The beings called Angels took you in, their leader God, took a special liking to you. He quickly raised you through the ranks and taught you to use your innate powers, granting you permission not to accept grace as long as you hid the color of your power, which was a deep purple red color. He asked you to make it appear blue, pure. He often asked you who you were or where you came from but you couldn't remember. The man mentored you, and you found yourself slowly falling in love with him. Much to your surprise, he reciprocated your feelings but your relationship had to stay quiet. You were his second in command. Nothing could change that. -  
Flashback ends

You woke up to cold water being splashed on your face. You looked up and growled. Dean.

"The fuck do you want?" You spat at him as you dried off your face with the wet bedspread.

"Dinner time. Come get some grub." He told you helping you up. "Sorry about the water, you weren't waking up." He told you with guilt in his voice. But the smirk on his face told you that he was lying. You punched his arm playfully.

"What's for dinner?" You asked.

The two of you made your way into the dining room and you were surprised to see your favorite meal sitting ready for you on the table.

"Yessssss! How'd you know Dean?" You hurried over to the table and wolfed down the delicious food. Riot whimpered at your feet as he watched you eat. When you were finished you gave him his own dinner and a pat on the back. He ate his food with the same excitement you did.

The next couple weeks went relatively smoothly, you worked a couple hunts with the boys, a ghoul, a vamp nest, and another werewolf (which Dean wanted to celebrate alone with you in a motel room for "old times sake", you declined not wanting to risk your newfound friendship.). Cas came along to help with the vamp nest, when he got cornered you ended up taking out three vampires at once with your powers, causing you to black out from the exertion. At the nest you could've sworn you saw Riot glow a deep maroon color that mirrored your own when you used your powers. Since that hunt though, you hadn't been sleeping much. And you still hadn't told any of the guys about your dreams/ flashbacks or who you really were. You were Dawn, you were Dusk, you were there at the beginning. Your flashbacks were growing violent, bloody, and less like life and more like a nightmare. All you ever saw were battles and wars and yourself committing mass murder, you caused a genocide of a species of hominid that was destined to grow alongside mankind. You were growing to hate yourself, the memories were becoming familiar. You actually remembered these things instead of just watching them happen. You couldn't tell what was real anymore so you just avoided sleep altogether. The boys kept catching you in the library at six in the morning slumped over a book trying to keep awake.

Exactly a week and a half after the vampire nest incident, you were in the library trying to find some more information on yourself, trying to learn without flashbacks. Sam came into the room in only sweatpants. You looked up at him in confusion as he turned on the lights.

"Hey man, my lamp was working perfectly fine." You said, slightly irritated.

"Y/N, it is 4:30 am. What in gods name are you doing awake?!" He questioned you.

"Couldn't sleep." You shrugged in response.

"Bullshit you "can't sleep" really at all anymore. What's going on with you?" He pulled up a chair next to you.

"Look Sam, I'm fine okay?" You gathered your books and went to your room to study.

As you were reading through a men of letters file labeled Dusk/Dawn, you came across something written in the margin of the paper. In sloppy script it read: "Dusk wiped. Death bound."

"What the fuck?" You whispered to yourself. "Who do I ask about this? Sam? Cas? De-"

"Yes Y/N?" A deep gravely voice made you jump. You turned to face the figure, Cas. Of course.

"Damn Cas, you've got to stop sneaking up on me like that!" You scolded him.

"Why did you pray for me?" He asked you, signature head tilt and everything.

"I didn't pray for you Cas, I was thinking out loud." You told him.

"Why were you thinking out loud about me?" He asked you, no less confused than before.

"Cas that's- no- Cas! I'm just trying to figure this out." You said gesturing to the file.

"Can I help?" He asked you reaching for the file. You hesitated in giving it to him, thinking he might find out that you aren't who he hopes you to be but you soon realized that he doesn't have to know why you're researching Dawn/Dusk. Still, you reluctantly handed him the folder. Pointing to the scribble in the margin. He studied it intently before looking back up at you.

"Why are you studying this being? It is one of the most dangerous creatures out there." He looked at you sternly. Fuck. This is what you were afraid of.

"I just thought it was weird that it had two names." You lied. "Why does it have two names?" You asked him trying to cover up.

"Dawn also carries the name Dusk because when God and his sister, The Darkness, were first creating the Earth, they had to figure out a way to share the world. God created the day time, the Darkness created the night. But what they didn't realize then was that there was another being living alongside them. A being of both light and dark, but containing neither dark nor light. This being slowly brought darkness to the end of each day, creating a dim calm. Earning it the name Dusk. This being also brought light gradually to the end of each night, along with the same sense of serenity. This earned the being the name Dawn." He told the story as if telling it to a child as a bedtime story. You smiled while he spoke, enthralled by the story.

"What does Death have to do with this being?" You asked as innocently as you could.

"Dusk has been missing for many millennia. It was a legend but this file appears to validate it, but the story goes that the being wanted to start over, to be devoid of memories. Dawn went to the Men of Letters and asked them how to forget everything. They said if they bound Death, they could force him to block all existing memories. Dusk agreed, Death was bound, and Dawn's entire life was forgotten." He explained, proud of his knowledge.

"Could Death break the barrier?" You questioned, you wanted to be rid of these nightmares.

"In theory, yes. Why?" He was growing suspicious at your questions. "Have you found Dusk?" His eyes widened and you could see something in his eyes. Fear? Hope? Horror? You couldn't tell.

"Merely curious." You shrugged at him.

At that Cas left. You took the time to quickly gather materials for the binding spell, looking up the incantation in the men of letters files. You found what you were looking for relatively quickly. You took yourself into a secluded part of the bunker, where the boys wouldn't find you and set up shop. Once you had the spell put together you began the incantation.

"Te nunc invoco, mortem. Te in mea potestate difixi. Nunc et in aeternum!" You shouted into the empty room, completing the spell. For a moment, nothing happened. You sighed and ran your hands along your face.

"What the fuck am I supposed to do now?" You groaned into your hands.

"Dusk. Long time no see." Your head shot up to meet the eyes of a thin man in a black suit.

"You must know why I bound you." You said, it seemed like he did.

"You need to forget again?" Death asked you.

"What? That's happened? No this time I need to remember. Everything. The good the bad and the ugly." You told him quickly, but he didn't seem to get the memo.

"You've been having dreams and nightmares?" He asked you.

"I don't need a therapy session. I need to remember." You growled at him.

"Answer the question or no memories." He spoke.

"Memories or I don't unbind you." You retorted with a smirk. His only response was a small smile.

"Okay fine." He said as he raised his hands to your head, the instant he touched you you erupted on a blood curdling scream.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know if you have any questions about yourself !! (Sorry it's so short I wanted to get an early update in!
> 
> Leave a kudos and a comment! Suggestions are welcome, I'm also thinking about starting a book of one shots, imagines, and preferences. If y'all have any preferences or imagines you want to see send them to me! I'll start up a book if I get a couple.


	8. Flood

Death brought his hands up to your head and you erupted into a blood curdling scream. The pain in your head was unbearable and relentless, you felt as if it would burst. You fell to your knees gripping your head, you saw Riot run into the room out of the corner of your eye. He came up to your side and licked your cheek attempting to comfort you but he then let out and earsplitting howl as well.

"Oh look, Dusk joined the party." You heard Death chuckle. You were about to question him when you were hit with a wave of memories.

_Flashback-_  
Born of need for serenity.  
Reckless child, didn't know how to control her powers. Eventually developed two personalities: Dawn and Dusk.  
The two fought relentlessly within their mind, Dawn eventually left in search of peace. In the process, losing her memory. She found a place with the angels, by Gods side and became known as Y/N. She always looked to save whoever she could. Dawn became well known as someone to be trusted, respected, and also feared.  
Dusk remained a buffer between Light and Darkness. Or as they came to be known: God and Amara.  
Dawn fell from heaven, saving all the angels from Gods wrath. Became known as the Savior, secretly worshipped by many angels.  
Dusk learned of his sister's reappearance and went in search of her. He found her on Earth, devoid of memory. He went to the Men of Letters, explaining his plight. They took pity on him and agreed that the safety of humanity could be protected if his and his sisters past was forgotten and powers suppressed. Dusk then took form of a proud beast. The German Shepard. Dusk became known as Riot.  
Devoid of memory, the two lived separately for many years before reuniting unwittingly.  
Shortly after, Jimmy was overtaken by an angel and they uprooted their lives to get him back.  
Flashback end-

You gasped as you sat up on the ground of a dusty storage room. Panic filled you for a moment, confused as to why you were here. Then you saw the summoning bowl and remembered you had summoned Death. He was there when you woke, waiting to be unbound. Looking to your left you saw Riot, or Dusk, splayed on the ground panting. You reached over and placed a hand on his side, his response was simply the wag of his tail.

"Long time no see brother." You whispered. You looked up at Death who was watching you expectantly. With a wave of your hand the bond was broken and he was gone. Groaning you rose to your feet and began cleaning the mess you had made.

"What the hell am I gonna tell the boys?" You muttered to yourself.

"The truth." A voice slightly deeper than your own spoke. You turned around expecting to see Sam or Dean maybe but no one was there.

"Dawn, seriously? I'm right here." The voice spoke again. You looked down at Riot.

"Yep, we are the same person remember? Just two personalities. Telepathic speaking." The animal explained to you.

"I haven't been called Dawn in many, many years. It's just Y/N." You responded.

"I prefer Riot." You laughed to yourself, it had been so long since you had spoken with Dusk, and you remembered every day of your life now but it still felt as if you were talking to a stranger.

A few hours later you found yourself in the bunker's library with Sam. He was just going over a bunch of files, staying up to date. You managed to slip your own file (which you had updated with more information) into his queue and just sat and waited for him to read it.

"Where's Dean and Cas?" You asked him.

"Dean was on a supply run but caught wind of a few demons so Cas is helping him out." He explained, not even glancing up from his reading.

A while later, while you were on your laptop, you noticed Sam had the Dawn/Dusk file in his hand. You went over to talk to him, hopefully about the file.

"Hey Sam, are you hungry? I could make you something."

"Uhhh.." He kept reading the file, forgetting about your question. He looked completely enthralled.

"Sam."

"Oh what?" His head snapped up this time.

"Do you want something to eat?" You repeated your question.

"Uhm. N- no I think I'm good. Thanks though Y/N." He gestured his thanks and glanced back down at the file.

"What are you reading that's so interesting?" You asked him, being coy. But honestly, you didn't know how to bring up the fact that one of the three most dangerous beings in the universe was living in his house.

"This god-like thing, it's got two names, well two personalities really. Dawn, the more free spirited side, ended up living with the angels and saving them from God's anger when Lucifer was cast out. Dawn was thereafter known as the Savior. She was... worshipped... by.. the, uhh... The angels." His gaze remained fixed on the pages but you knew he realized who you were. In half a second he was out of his chair with a pistol pointed at your head.

"Sam, you know who I am now. Do you honestly think that the tiny pistol you're holding will do anything to me?" You asked him with your hands in the air, as if trying to tell him that you mean no harm.

"Yeah well, I'm not putting it away." He spat at you. "What the hell Y/N? Why didn't you tell us?" He questioned you.

"I didn't know until this morning, I just got my memories back from Death. I was trying to figure out a way to tell you. The file on me just seemed like the best way to go." You explained.

"You could've just told me." He growled, still not lowering the gun.

"Yes, alright. 'Hey Sam! I'm one of the most powerful beings in the universe and I live two rooms down from you!' Because I'm sure that would've gone over well." You snarled, growing impatient. Riot entered the room and sat by your feet.

"Dusk I'm guessing?" He gestured to the Shepard. Riot barked in response. Sam shook his head, laughing at the situation in front of him.

"This is a disaster. What the hell am I supposed to do? In any other given day the right option would be to kill you." He paced around the room talking to himself mumbling about what to tell Dean and Cas and whether or not to kill you.

"Whose side are you on Y/N?" He suddenly asked you. You thought about it for a moment, you weren't sure yourself.

"I'm on the side of those who I love, those who show kindness and loyalty to me. I will protect and remain loyal to you, Dean, and Cas. I care about the three of you. Even if Cas took my husband from me and parades him around in front of me. I still care for Jimmy and Cas has been nothing but kind." You responded. You kept your gaze on your hands, nervous as to what he would say.

"I can't believe I'm saying this but... I'm not going to try and kill you." He ghosted his hands through his hair. Scoffing at himself.

"Well thanks I guess." You chuckled, which caused him to chuckle, which turned into the two of you having an all out giggle fit in the middle of the library. Unfortunately, said giggle fit was interrupted by Castiel and Dean returning from their hunt bloodied and beaten. Castiel worse than Dean.

"Holy shit what happened?" You ran to Cas's aid and Sam quickly helped Dean to a chair.

"There were... rouge angels working with the demons... my friends... my garrison..." Cas spoke roughly, obviously tires and in extreme pain.

"Hey, hey, hey, shh." You knelt down next to the chair he was sitting on. "It's going to be okay don't worry Cas..." You cooed at him, trying to keep him from using too much of his strength. You raised your hand to heal him, and just as the warmth of your power reached the palm of your hand he swatted you away.

"Don't... You aren't strong... Enough.. Yet..." His voice was strained and tired. His head slumped forward. Panicking, you and Sam shifted him over to the couch allowing him to lie down. You brought forth your powers to your palm again, holding your hand over his head. You gradually healed him from the top down and left him to rest. You then turned your attention to Dean. He looked up at you from his chair, looking extremely terrified.

"Sam told you?" You asked, sounding bored. His only response was a nod. "Yup. Okay. Let's get to work." You waved your palm over his body and within a minute he was right as rain.

"Uhh.. Thanks." He said to you.

"Dean seriously you don't need to be afraid of me. I'm on your side. Cross my heart." You promised him as you dragged your right hand across your chest in an X formation before holding it up beside your face. Dean nodded and left the room quickly. You looked to Sam for support but he just gave you a fast and forced smile before chasing after his brother. You knew they would need time but you couldn't help feeling hurt. You decided to go babysit Cas incase he woke up or something happened.

You took a seat in a chair next to the sleeping angel's head. You watched how his features softened as he slept. He looked so peaceful, sleeping there. When he was asleep he reminded you of Jimmy and the nights you spent just watching the love of your life sleep. Suddenly, his face contorted. He looked to be in pain.

"no.. please... spare me... I beg mercy... no.. No.. NO!" He was shouting, writhing on the sofa. He was begging someone to stop hurting him, to save him. You reached out and placed your hand on his sweat covered forehead.

"Shh Cas it's okay..." You cooed. Attempting to calm him. It worked only slightly, but there was some improvement. You thought for a moment, trying to think of a way to alleviate his nightmare. Then it hit you.

 

"I heard there was a secret chord  
That David played and it pleased the lord  
But you don't really care for music do you  
Well it goes like this the fourth the fifth  
The minor fall and the major lift  
The baffled king composing  
Hallelujah" You sang softly, as to not wake him. His shouts turned to whispers and his thrashing turned to twitching. As you kept singing you though if our little brother Kevin, how you used to sing to him. How your mother had sung to you before her death.

"Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah." You finished the verse quietly and the only trace of his nightmare was a soft whimpering that came from the angel. You sang the entirety of the song until the man was once again sleeping soundly. You remained in your chair for the rest of the night watching over the angel. Little did you know, that Dean had been standing in the doorway the whole time, watching you sing a lullaby to the fallen angel.

The following morning you woke to the smell of eggs and toast. However, while you were still in your chair, the angel was gone. Panic lit up your chest as you frantically twisted around searching for the angel.

"Are you alright Y/N?" A deep voice from behind you asked. You spin around to face the man with blue eyes.

"Uh yeah fine." You responded awkwardly. "How are you doing? Feeling okay?" You asked him.

"I am well. Although, I told you not to heal me. Why did you?" He questioned you.

"You were hurt, what was I supposed to do?" You retorted.

"I should rephrase. How were you able to? It was not just my vessel that was damaged but my Grace. You should not have been able to heal that." He explained.

"I uh.." You started before Dean leaned into the room. Saved by the bell, or so you thought.

"Caught wind of a nest 50 miles south, we leave at dawn." He informed you and Cas. You visibly flinched when he said your name, your real name. Cas noticed this and opened his mouth to question you. Instead you spoke before he could.

"I better go pack up then, I'll see you later Cas." You quickly turned tail and fled to your room. When you arrived you picked up your phone to text Sam.

"Have you told Cas yet?" Send.

"Not yet... We let him read some parts of your file to see how he'd react. He seemed terrified... -SW"

"Awesome." Send.  
"I'm about to go on a snack run. Could you tell him?" Send.

"Yeah Dawn, no problem. - SW"

"The name is Y/N." Send.  
"I'm taking Riot with me." Send. You tucked your phone into your pocket and made your way to leave, only to be stopped at the door by Castiel.

"What is wrong Y/N?" He pushed you.

"Nothing Cas I'm going out for food." You explained, hoping to avoid this conversation. Cas didn't take the bait.

"Y/N..." He started but you cut him off, calling for Riot.

"If you really want to know so bad, go talk to Sam and Dean. But if we want snacks for the road I need to leave now. Just..." Your voice softened, you tried to keep your sadness out of it but you failed. "Just don't hate me afterwords okay? I only learned it yesterday." And with that you pushed your way past him and out the door.

"Learned what?!" You heard him call after you but you didn't turn back. You just hopped into your car and drove to the store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And this chapter is done! There might be romance in the story but i don't know who with. Comment who you want, and I'll take a tally. You'll have to see who wins at the end of the story. *evil laughter*


	9. Birthday

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys this is really only a half chapter or a bonus chapter or whatever. But it's my birthday! (31st) and I wanted to do something fun for you guys. :) enjoy!

You left the bunker without a glance behind you. You hopped into your truck and sped away towards the store. You wandered through the aisles, grabbing snacks and such from the shelves picking up some fruits and meats to cook along the way. You came upon the bakery at the back of the store and picked up a pecan pie, the last one they had actually. You chuckled to yourself, thinking of how excited Dean would be. You kept wandering around the store looking through the frozen food section when you came across these burger patties made of black beans, you read the ingredients and they seemed pretty healthy so you decided to get them for Sam, maybe he would like them.

You pushed your half full cart to the checkout and payed with a stolen credit card, of course. It's not like you had a job anymore. You sighed as your mind drifted to the time you spent with Jimmy, away from hunting. You had your dream job, you had a perfectly trained dog, a loving husband (who was amazing in bed mind you). Now your life was a mess. Well, it always was you just couldn't remember it before. You packed the groceries into your truck and drove around for a while, trying to avoid going back to the bunker. You stopped for coffee, shopped a little bit, and just didn't go home. 

When you finally made your way back to the bunker, the Impala was gone. You were extremely grateful, you didn't want to deal with your life yet.

After you put away the groceries you decided to cook up a couple of the bean burger patties, one for Sam and one for yourself, and then a regular meat patty for Dean. You hummed and sang as you flipped burgers and made lemonade for the boys. Just as you placed the last bean patty on the last bun you heard a moan behind you.

"Jesus Y/N these are delicious!" You turned to see Dean, mouth full and face covered in condiments. You glanced at what he was eating, a black bean burger. You tried to stifle a laugh but to no avail, you started cracking up.

"What? A man can't enjoy a beef patty around here?" He looked at you confused.

"Well considering you're eating a black bean patty, no it appears he can't." You continued to giggle and his face went as red as a tomato.

"You can tell Sam." He said in a quiet and serious tone.

"Alright Bean no problem." You grinned at him.

"What did you just call me?" He shot daggers at you but all you could do was laugh.

"Noting Bean.." You grinned at him and he returned with the strongest bitch face you have ever seen. You just laughed at him. He put the burger down and reached for your hand. You looked at him in confusion, but took his hand. He covered your eyes and led you out of the kitchen.

"Alright you can open now." He said, taking his hand away from your face. Your mouth gaped, there were decorations everywhere. Balloons, streamers, confetti littered the floor, there was shit everywhere. Your eyes eventually landed on the three boys, who each held a bag in their hands. Sam came up to you first, handing you the bag.

"Happy birthday kiddo" he smiled at you as you tore the tissue paper out of the bag. You lifted the object out and gasped.

"Is this what I think it is?" You asked him, grinning from ear to ear.

"My old Stanford sweatshirt. I saw you wearing it one day and it doesn't fit me anymore so.." He trailed off. You pulled the sweatshirt close to your body, it smelled like him. 

"Thank you so much Sam." You hugged him and he went to sit. Dean approached you next. He hesitantly placed the bag in your hand and you quickly tore into it. You heard him giggle at your enthusiasm. At the bottom of the bag was a small jewelry box. You pulled it out and opened it. It was a beautiful silver bracelet, on it was an engraving. You had to squint to read it. 

"Hallelujah..." You breathed out. "It says hallelujah on it." Tears were threatening to spill over your eyes.

"I heard you singing the other day, you have an amazing voice by the way, but I could tell the song meant a lot to you." He looked down at his feet and scratched the back of his head. You quickly enveloped him in a tight hug and placed a quick kiss on his cheek.

"Thank you Bean." You whispered in his ear. Finally, Cas came forward with his bag. Inside of his was also a jewelry box, a ring box to be exact.

"Jeez Cas, ask a girl to dinner first." You joked with him. He looked up at you with a furrowed brow and a tilted head, obviously confused.

"It's- nevermind." You said as you opened the small box. Inside was two rings. Jimmy's wedding band, and another one. It was a deep turquoise color and it took your breath away. You took Jimmy's wedding band and slipped it on your left ring finger alongside your wedding band and engagement ring and then you placed the deep blue band around your right middle finger.

"They're beautiful Cas, thank you. Thank you for giving me his ring. I miss him." Tears that once only threatened to spill were now flowing freely. Cas only smiled at you. You pulled him into a hug, and as you did so you noticed a deep blue band matching your own on his left hand. You decided not to mention it, you just allowed him to comfort you.

"Y/N?" He said quietly into your ear. You hummed in response, giving him permission to continue.

"I don't hate you. I don't think I ever could..." He finished. He gave you one last squeeze before letting you go, a silly grin on your face. 

"Happy birthday Y/N." He said to you.

"Yea happy birthday kid." Dean said, patting your shoulder.

"Thank you so much guys, I'm surprised you even knew my birthday. Well my human birthday anyway." You told them.

"Cas just knows these things." Sam told you with a grin. You turned to look at the angel, but he wouldn't meet your eye.

"Thanks you guys, really. It means a lot to me." You told them, truly happy for the first time since you met them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a kudos and a comment! I love to know what you guys think!! Also remember to vote for who you wanna end up with! It doesn't have to be one of the three boys, it could be Crowley or Gabe or someone else! Love y'all!


	10. Stuck

You sat laying in your bed watching tv fiddling with the turquoise ring that Cas had given you. You pondered why he had given it to you, Jimmy's wedding band you understood. But the blue ring... Plus the fact that he himself had one as well... The whole thing just seemed odd to you but you appreciated the gift. As you twisted the ring around your finger you felt something rough on the inside, slipping it off you examined it. There was an inscription in gold. It was Enochian. You could pronounce the words just fine because you spent so many years in heaven but you didn't know what they meant! It was as if Cas had just slapped random letters together and you couldn't figure it out. You pulled out a notebook and sketched the symbols and set them aside to puzzle out later. You put the ring back on and made your way to the library where Sam and Dean sat.

"Hiya boys, whatchya up to?" You asked them as you took a seat across from them.

"I think, that we've found ourselves a case." Dean told you before stuffing a huge bite of pie in his mouth.

"What are we looking at?" You asked them.

"So get this, a woman comes home to her husband locked in his office, when she finally gets the door open she finds him dead on the floor. The kicker? Coroner reported that every space in his body was filled with confetti. His stomach, his intestines, his colon, bladder, everywhere that it could be, it was. There were two more just like that." Sam explained the situation to you.

"That sounds like something Loki would do." You said, mainly to yourself.

"Who?" Dean asked.

"Just an old friend. Don't worry about it, let's go check this out." You got up and made your way to your room where you packed a bag with some extra clothes, an angel knife, and your handgun with silver bullets. You threw the bag into the back of the impala and leaned against the black vehicle as you watched the boys coming toward you.

"So, where we off to Bean?" He frowned slightly at the nickname but still responded.

"Roseville, Montana." His gruff voice said the two words as if they meant nothing. But to you, they were everything. It was your home town. The last place you had been happy. You lived there with your father and Kevin, you lived there with Jimmy. It was a town full of memories that just ached. Sam noticed your panic at the mention of the city.

"Y/N? You can stay here if you want..." Sam whispered into your ear. You gave him a small nod in silent agreement before taking your bag out of the car and returning to the bunker.

Within moments of shutting the door behind you, you were crying. Bawling. You wanted to just collapse on the floor. You missed your family, you missed Jimmy, you missed the way your life used to be. But you hated that you liked your life as a human better than that as an angel or as Dawn and Dusk. You hated that the life that brought to the most pain would be the one you wanted and held on to so dearly. You supposed though, that had it not been for the pain and heartbreak you wouldn't know what happiness truly was. You forced yourself to lay down on the nearest sofa which also happened to have a tv by it. You switched it on purely for background noise and fell asleep.

You woke up to the sound of the boys coming home. Anxiously, you sat up concerned about how the hunt went, and secretly hoping that it really was a trickster. THE trickster...

"So, what was it?" You asked, feigning a calm demeanor.

"Just some demented demon..." Dean grumbled, his lip was bloody and he had a pretty good bruise on his cheek. You tried to hide your disappointment that the Trickster had not returned but by the look on Deans face, you failed. You shook your head and looked over to Sam who had a long gash down his neck that disappeared under his shirt. Panic spiked in your chest.

"Sam sit down." You commanded him. You were concerned about the cut.

"Y/N wha-?"

"Sit. NOW." You pointed towards the chair in front of you. "Take off your shirt, let me see the gash." He gave you a weird look but did it anyway. You can't say you didn't enjoy the ripple of his toned muscles as he took off the tattered fabric. Gingerly you examined the wound, concentrating hard on what it would take to heal him. You still didn't quite trust yourself. You gathered your power in your palm and held your hand above the wound. Sam gave out a grunt as the wound sealed and soon all trace of it was gone.

"Alright my turn. Sam move." Dean said as he shooed his brother out of the chair. Sam gave you a grateful look as he rose for his seat. You then turned your attention to Dean, making sure that nothing besides his face needed to be healed.

"Where's Cas?" You asked absentmindedly as you worked.

"He got beat up pretty bad, went to heaven for healing." Sam told you as he washed the remaining blood off his body.

"Why didn't he come here? I can heal him." You were thinking out loud at this point. You quickly sent him a prayer saying you could heal him and within moments you had a bloody, beaten, ravaged and barely conscious Castiel at your feet. You quickly healed any major wounds you could see and forced Sam and Dean to move him to the couch before they went to their respective rooms to sleep and shower. Castiel quickly fell asleep on the soft surface. As you watched over the angel, you noticed he began moaning as if in pain. His eyes fluttered underneath his eyelids and his brow was knit in worry. You reached over and ran your hand through his hair and he relaxed some at your soothing touch. Just like you had the last time you got hurt, you began to sing. You sang the song your mother sang to you, and you sang to Kevin. You still missed them dearly.

You continued to run your hand through his hair as you sang, he visibly calmed as you did this. You shifted to sit on the couch in the crook where his hips bent. He must have felt you sit because he shifted to make more room for you. You slowly dragged your hand out of his soft, thick hair and let it come to rest on his shoulder, rubbing small circles on the rough fabric of his tan coat, all the while still singing.

"Well baby, I've been here before. I've seen this room and I've walked this floor. I used to live alone before I knew you. Then i saw your flag on the marble arch, but love is not a victory march! It's a cold and it's a broken hallelujah!

Hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah, hallelujah." You let your voice fade out at the end of your favorite verse and looked down at the angels face. His features calm and unmoving now. You slowly removed your hand from his body and carefully stood up, hoping not to wake him. He shifted slightly, but otherwise seemed unbothered by your sudden absence. Smiling, you turned to leave the room but noticed Dean leaning against the doorway.

"What's up Bean?" your voice careful.

"You have a beautiful voice Y/N." His sincere compliment caused you to blush a deep rose color. You looked down at your stocking feet in attempt to hide your embarrassment.

"Thank you.." You spoke softly, not trusting your voice all of a sudden. You chided yourself in your head. You are one of the most powerful beings in the universe for goodness sake! A handsome man with apple green eyes and uneven stubble was causing you to act bashful when you had slaughtered evil by the thousands. You shook your head and forced yourself to meet his eye.

"Cas sings that song a lot now. I don't think he knows that you sing it to him when he's hurt though." Dean told you, his voice full of warmth. You glanced at the angel over your shoulder and smiled, until you heard him let out a long groan. He was awake now. You rushed to his side, your e/c eyes searching his frantically.

"Cas? Cas, look at me," He complied, "What hurts? What did I miss?" You asked him. He responded by washing the room in an intermittent, but blinding light. You stared straight into it. Into him. 

"My grace..." You heard his celestial voice whisper. You reached out and took hold of his true form, letting your deep red powers blend with and repair the flickering blue light before you. Suddenly, images began to flash before your eyes. Births, deaths, oceans, canyons, wars, battles. A wave of emotion hit you. Happiness, sadness, grief, despair, hurt, panic, loyalty, forgiveness,love. And then, it was over. Cas was back to his normal self, sitting up on the couch. There was no longer a light washing the room, but you. You were stunned. You had fallen to the ground in a cold sweat feeling as if you had experienced an entire lifetime in the span of ten seconds. You glanced up at the angel with your mouth agape. He just stared at you with a shocked expression on his face.

"Are you guys okay?!" You heard a frantic muffled voice behind you. You turned your head to see the door to the room closed. Not trusting your voice you just nodded, even though he couldn't see you.

"Y/N? Cas?" You recognized the voice to be Sam's. You looked up to Castiel and finally noticed that his left hand was entangled in your right. As you looked at your entwined hands, so did he, in the process trying to pull his hand away but to no avail. Panicking slightly you bring your hands closer to your face to inspect what was holding them together. Gasping, you realized it was the ring he gave you. The beautiful blue ring that matched his own. They were stuck together. 

"Cas, why are they doing this?" Your voice shook as you tried to take the ring off, but it wouldn't move a millimeter. "Cas?!" the panic in your voice was as clear as the panic on his face.

"I- I do not know Y/N." He reached for your hand, inspecting the two rings.

"What does the engraving on them mean?" You asked frantically. "The enochian is too new for me to fully understand all the words."

"What engraving?" he asked sincerely. You groaned.

"Where did you get these rings Cas?" You were growing more and more exasperated. 

"I- I- I got them at a store called The Joker." He stammered out.

"Are you guys okay in there?!" You heard Sam call through the door again. You walked over, dragging Cas with you, and unlocked the door.

"Peachy," You snapped. "Me and Cas are gonna take a quick trip, be back soon." You turned to Cas. "Zap us to the store." You said.

"I cannot, the rings appear to repress my powers." You groaned.

"Can you give me an address? I can zap us there." He quickly relayed the information to you and you concentrated on it. When you opened your eyes, you were still in the bunker, holding hands with Cas, in front of a very confused Sam. 

"What the hell is going on?" He asked the both of you. You held up the hand that was connected to Cas's and showed him the fuse rings and how they wouldn't come off. 

"Cas's birthday present is what's going on. It's cursed or something. I'm gonna drive us to this stupid store so I can beat up whatever did this because it's not funny. Tell Bean where we're going for me?" Sam just nodded at you as you dragged Cas to your truck.

"Where am I going?" You asked him. He cringed. "Cas..." You growled out his name.

"Montana." He stated simply. You nodded as you pulled out onto the highway.

"Roseville, Monatana." He said quietly, as if hoping you didn't hear him. You let out a huge sigh and just nodded your head staring straight down the road. 

Cas would never mention it to you, but he watched a tear slide down your cheek before you wiped it away with you hand, attempting to feign an itch on your nose.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you guys liked! Leave a kudos and a comment! I love to hear your thoughts!


	11. Wait, what?

You drove with your left hand in the wheel and your right sitting in Cas's lap where he held it. Not that you minded, it was more comfortable than letting your entwined hands rest on the seat awkwardly. You tried to focus on everything but the fact that you were driving back to your hometown. Where you never saw your family again. Unknowingly, you began to worry patterns into the back of Castiel's hand. He looked down at your hands in confusion before grinning slightly and looking back out the window. You notice the movement out of the corner of your eye.

"Sorry..." You grumble, loosening your iron grip on his hand.

"It's alright. Do not worry." He told you, not taking his gaze away from the window.

"Okay." You felt awkward now, your mind races for something to say.

"So when you bought the rings, what did you ask the sales attendant for?" You asked him, partially trying to break the silence, partially trying to get more information.

"I merely asked for two blue rings, he then came before me with a box. Within it: two blue and white marbled rings, appearing to be made of stone. He then asked me if I would like an engraving and I told him no." He relayed the story to you. Seemingly, of no consequence.

"How did whoever sold these," you raised you joined hands, "know Enohian? And what the hell do the engravings mean? It just looked to me like a bunch of random sounds..." You wondered out loud at him. He looked at you confused, a head tilt and a furrowed brow. Suddenly, you had an idea and tried to reach for your phone in your back left pocket. Although, that would require you to either take your hand off of the wheel or shove two hands in your back pocket while driving. As you fumbled around trying to do something that made sense Castiel was watching you in amusement.

"What is wrong Y/N?" He asked you causing you to sigh and give in to what you really didn't want to happen.

"Cas... Can you reach into my back pants pocket, get my phone and call Dean or Sam?" You asked quietly.

"Alright, which pocket is it in?" He asked you, voice equally soft. You groaned inwardly, it was in the pocket furthest away from him.

"Left." Was all you replied with. He nodded and began to reach for your pocket. You could feel his hand moving down your back agonizingly slowly, trying not to disturb your driving. You glanced over at him, his body contorted, his left hand still interlocked with yours, basically facing backwards in the car as he twisted his torso to give himself access to your ass. His hand slowly came upon the curve of your ass when he stopped, almost hesitating. You leaned to one side to allow him easier access to the phone in your pocket. You knew it was coming but his hand sliding into your back pocket caused you to jump, which in turn you accidentally floored the accelerator. The car jerked forwards, you slid backwards in the seat, trapping Castiel's hand under your ass and his arm behind your back. His torso was still twisted as he too slid backwards in his seat. You quickly got the car back to a normal speed.

"Alright let's just pull over." You said shakily, you had a thing about cars doing things they weren't supposed to. You got the truck safely to the side of the road and the both of you slid out, your phone falling out of your pocket in the process.

"Shit..." You bent over to pick it up, you were glad to see that it had not broken. You called Sam.

"Hello?" 

"Hey Sam, can you do me a favor?" You asked in a sickly sweet voice.

"What do you need?" He responded in a similar tone, mocking you. You blew a raspberry.

"In the back of my journal, the one on my desk, there are drawings of Enochian symbols. Can you text me some pictures?" This time you asked in a normal voice.

"No problem." Click. Just moments later the pictures appeared. You pulled them out and showed them to Cas.

"The only word I could make out was "latch". You told him. He looked at the photo for a moment, then realization dawned on his face.

"We need to hurry up." He said, pushing you back into the car before him. "Drive." He barked at you.

"What does it mean? Is there a place that's latched shut that we can get a key or something to separate the rings?" His face remained stoic. He refused to look at you, instead he just growled out words from between clenched teeth.

"Drive, Y/N." At that point you shut your mouth and accelerated the truck. The rest of the drive was silent, angry, and awkward. When you finally reached Roseville it was in the early evening but you were exhausted so you drive right past The Joker and to a motel.

"Y/N-"

"Shove it up your ass Cas, I'm exhausted and you've been nothing but a dick for the last day and a half." You cut him off, dragging him into the motel and flopping on one of the twin beds, him staring down at you.

"Y/N your arm would be at less of a painful angle of you allowed me to sit across from you." You just grunted in frustrated agreement. You were getting sick of your hands being stuck together.  Cas moved around the bed, quite awkwardly to avoid disturbing you anymore than necessary, before sitting down in the small space where your hips bent. You kept your eyes closed and drifted off into sleep.

When you woke, you tried to shift on the small bed but there was something holding you in place. You opened your eyes slightly and noticed an arm draped over your abdomen. Not only was an arm draped over you but you were holding the hand connected to it. On top of that, there was another one underneath your head. You tried to shift your legs and kick off the covers but you found that your legs were entwined with more legs. It took you longer than it should have to realize that Cas was the sleeping form draped around you.

"Hello Y/N." He said softly into your ear. You hummed softly in response, not wanting to move. His embrace was warm and comforting. You were beginning to think that maybe these rings were pretty okay. Then suddenly, the warmth was gone. You groaned as you fell onto your back to stretch.

"Are you okay?" Castiel seemed concerned.

"Fine, just stiff." You explained. You checked the time as you too rose from the bed. Noon. Perfect.

"Let's go hit up The Joker." You dragged him towards the door, he seemed reluctant.

"Cas." His gaze went from the floor to your face.

"Yeah I'm coming." Was all he said before steeling his expression and walking out the door with you, hand in hand. It was only a five minute drive to The Joker, when you got there you turned the engine off. But not before hearing a deep sigh from Castiel. 

"Okay what is going on?" You pressed him.

"Nothing." He moved to get out of the car, but you stayed in place. Trapping him.

"I'm not moving until you tell me what's wrong." You wouldn't let up. You wanted to help him, he was hurting. Cas's head whipped around and he pushed your back into the door of the truck, inches from your face. His forearm was pushed against your chest.

"Nothing is wrong. Now let's get these rings off and get back to the bunker." His voice lower and more angry than you'd ever heard it. His new demeanor terrified you. Unable to speak, you swallowed and nodded before following him out of the car and into the small shop. You entered to find a shop full of weird and crazy knick knacks, some creepy, some funny, others just plain odd. You allowed yourself to be led along by Castiel as you gawked at the inventory. When you reached the counter you came upon a figure, his back turned. There looked to be something flowing around him, or within him... You couldn't really tell.

"How can I help you?" He deadpanned. His voice sounded oddly familiar but you didn't know why. Castiel was the one to speak next.

"I am having a problem with an item I bought from you three weeks ago."

"No returns, refunds, or exchanges." The man behind the counter said over his shoulder. Cas slammed the counter with his fist, causing you to jump. His grip on your hand tightened and you yelped in pain but he didn't let up. The mad from behind the counter turned to face Cas, his eyes first hooded in irritation, then widened in fear as his eyes caught Castiel's cold gaze. At this point you had retreated behind Cas the best you could, but when your eyes found the whiskey gold of the man behind the counter you came into full view.

"It can't be..." You breathed out. You then realized what the essence you saw was. It was his grace. You could see it pumping through his body. You looked to Cas, searching for the flowing grace. It was weaker but if you focused you could see it clearly. 

"Gabriel...?" You returned your gaze to the whiskey eyed man and watched the blue essence drag its way around him, within him, and through him. You were so mesmerized by the delicate dance before you that you didn't notice when Cas pulled out his angel blade. Soon it was in the mans sleeve, trapping him at the counter.

"Tell us how to reverse it." Cas growled into his face.

"Well dear brother, you already know how to do that. I know you've seen the symbols or poor little brother wouldn't be throwing such a tantrum." He taunted Cas, rubbing his eyes imitating a baby. You saw glowing movement out of the corner of your eye, glancing to your left, away from the two men, you saw a figure slowly retreat into another room.

"Hey, was that- no... Nevermind it can't be..." You said aloud to no one in party because the two men were still arguing.

"Hey." You tried to get their attention, to no avail.

"Hey!" Again, nothing.

"HEY!" You screamed this time, and succeeded in getting their attention. "What the hell is going on here? If you're who I think you are, you're supposed to be dead. If that guy," you gestured behind you to the room where the mystery man disappeared, "is who I thought he was, I'm fucked. And how the hell do we get these off?" You yelled at the whiskey eyed man. He looked mildly terrified. He was lucky you were currently powerless...

"Cas, do the honors." He gestured towards the Angel whose hand was still stuck to yours. He sighed before speaking.

"Olani oai oe hoath lit mad fisis mad thdoh od oiad." The Enochian was flowery and a dielectric you couldn't understand. You did manage to pick out "I" "you" and "life". Before you could ask what he said, the rings unlatched.

"I get it now, it was the rings that were latched together." You laughed at yourself for not seeing it sooner. Cas just grumbled and turned to talk quietly with who you were still assuming was Gabriel. You turned to look around the shops hike they talked. You crouched down to get a better look at something but when you stood up you lost your balance and toppled over backwards. Instead of hitting the hard ground, strong, warm arms caught you. 

"Thanks..." You mumbled, righting yourself before turning to look at your knight in shining armor. You staggered as you looked at him. His entire body was swirling and glowing a deep golden color. There were only three people in the universe that could radiate that kind of power, and only one with a color as brilliant as his. 

"Is it really you...?" You whispered. Shock still gracing your features.

"Yes it's me. It's been to long my sweet, beautiful Y/N. I've spent many years searching for you." He smiled warmly at you.

"But how could you leave heaven? The Angels, they needed you!" Your exasperation growing by the second. 

"Yes, but I could not be me without you..." He spoke softly, almost as if he didn't want you to hear. You heard Cas call your name. 

"I-I need to go." You told him, stumbling over your words.

"Wait! Take this necklace, it will allow me to find you again." He handed you a simple golden chain necklace that appeared to be glowing the same color as the man in front of you. You smiled as you put on the necklace on your way out.

"Well, Mary did you know, I carry the grace of God?" You whispered to yourself. 

"What? What does that mean?" Cas questioned.

"Nothing, it's just a song reference Cas. Chill." You held your hand to your neck, touching the warm metal. You and Cas got into the truck, him driving now. You couldn't wipe the small smile off your face. Castiel noticed this.

"What?" He asked you.

"What do you mean 'what?'" You asked him.

"Why are you smiling?" He asked you, glancing at you out of the corner of his eye.

"I think God is returning..." You said quietly. He slammed on the brake and swerved the car to the side of the road. He turned his head and looked at you, eyes shining a bright blue. Within them a mixture of emotion, fury, hope, happiness, anxiety. You watched his grace flow erratically, flashing brightly.

"What?!" He practically yelled at you. You acted without thinking. The initial fear in your belly disappeared as you flashed the wings you gained during your time with the Angels. Ten deep maroon wings, spanning at least 75 feet came into his view. 

"Do not forget who you speak to." Your voice boomed with power. Castiel quickly calmed himself and knelt. You put your wings away.

"I am sorry, you were acting erratically Cas, I didn't want something to happen that one of us would regret." You told him softly as you pulled him up from his knelt position.

"No, you are right. I acted out of place. Forgive me, Savior." He bowed his head, refusing to look into your eyes. This is exactly what you didn't want to happen. You just needed him to calm down. In hind sight, you could see now that talking to him probably would've worked but what's done is done. You shook you head.

"Cas, it's okay. Come on let's just go home." You told him, guiding him to the car with a hand on his shoulder. He froze under your touch and pulled away. You sighed but returned to the car, getting in the drivers seat. He slid into the seat next you. You were on the road for hours before he spoke to you.

"Is-" he took a deep breath before continuing, "is it true?" He asked softly, staring at his hands.

"Is what true?" You glanced at him. He didn't look up.

"God. Is he back?" There was hope in his voice, but something else was there too. Something you couldn't name. You stroked the gold chain around your neck causing it to warm and glow slightly. You could feel his presence in the metal. You took Castiels hand in your own and brought it up to your neck. He retreated slightly.

"The necklace. Touch it." You told him. He hesitated and slowly reached to feel the chain hanging from your neck. When his hand came into contact with it, he froze.

"It's him..." He breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't forget to leave kudos and a vote for your guy!


	12. Fin? Or No?

The remainder of the drive back to the bunker was held in a comfortable silence, that is until you asked the question that made Catiels mind race.

"Cas?" 

"Yes? What is it?"

"What was the key to getting the rings off? What did you say in Enochian? It was so flowery and it's been so long I couldn't understand you." You glanced over at him, his eyes were fluttering around as if searching for the words on the cars dash.

"Cas. It was just a simple spell, what was it?" You repeated.

"Uhh..." Was his only response. His eyes continued their frantic search for words. "It was just- I said- The binding spell required a confession." He finally choked out.

"A confession? What did you confess?" You asked him. It seemed an odd way to break a binding spell to you.

"It was my brother Gabriel, what do you think I confessed?" He asked you sarcastically.

"Cas I still don't under-"

"We're home." He interrupted you and flew out of the car. You scoffed at him and parked the truck in the garage. When you walked inside, you found just Sam in the bunker, asleep on the couch. You walked over to him to wake him and ask if he saw Cas come through here. When you were just a couple of feet away from him you noticed a ragged teddy bear in his arms. You smiled to yourself. This giant man couldn't sleep without a teddy bear? You decided to let him sleep. Instead, you went around the bunker doing various chores. You cleaned all the rooms, fixed up some smashed drywall and other things. When you came to the kitchen, you decided it needed some updating and started a mini renovation. With your powers you could materialize and poof away debris what you needed to but the installation was to be done by hand. Not because you needed it to but because you enjoyed the labor. You went to your room and grabbed your speakers, hooked up your phone, blasted some music, and got to work. Three hours later, you had taken everything out and put in all new appliances. You were working on the cabinets when Sam came in and tapped you on the shoulder, scaring you so bad you flashed your wings.

"Argh! God Damnit Y/N! It's just me! It's Sam!" He yelled stumbling away from you grasping at his eyes.

"Shit sorry Sam, come here let me help." You say him down on a nearby chair.

"I never knew you had wings." He said as he rubbed his eyes.

"Yeah, they're just remnants of my time as an angel. I lived almost half my life with the angels and God thought it only right for me to have a pair of wings. More like five pairs. He wanted everyone to know I held the highest rank. Above even the archangels. There's no reason for them to hurt humans anymore, they aren't actually made of Grace. It's just a habit I guess." You explained to him. "Sorry that was a bit of an over share I'm sure you don't care." He shook his head, but you quickly stilled him and placed your thumbs gently on his eyes, healing any remaining pain he may have.

"No it's okay, I like getting to know you. Since you've been here it's just been hunt after hunt after fight after fight after impromptu road trip." He chuckled at himself. You pulled a chair across from him and sat down.

"Yeah I guess you're right." You joined his laughter.

"Hey uh, Y/N?" His hesitant voice grabbed your attention.

"Yeah what's up?"

"Can I see your wings? You said they don't need to hurt humans so I just thought..." He seemed shy to ask this.

"Sure, we should probably go outside though. Or at least to the garage." You told him.

"I could use a breath of fresh air," he said as he rose from his seat. "wait, why outside?" You just smirked at him.

"You'll see, Teddy." You giggled when he gave you a look that could kill.

"What did you just say to me?"

"I called you Teddy." You giggled some more. Sam then lunged at you and began attacking your ribs earning laughter and shrieks from you.

"Ahh! Noooo stoooop!" You said through giggles. You were able to escape the tickle attack and took that as your chance to run. He chased you around the bunker a couple times before you decided to change it up. You ran up the stairs and out the door, closing it behind you.

"I'm gonna get you Y/N!" He roared through the door as he struggled to open it fast.

"Whatever you say Teddy!" You yelled back causing him to shout nonsense through the door. Then you remembered the original reason you two wanted to go outside. Your wings. You brought forth the magnificent deep red wings. Five pairs of wings spread beautifully from your back, glowing and swirling with your power. There were a couple feathers here and there that were black, others were white, but the majority were a beautiful deep mahogany color. You smiled as you stretched them.  Then Sam finally broke through the door.

"I'm going to d- oh. Oh wow. Oh my god." He cut himself off when he caught sight of the beautiful wings before him.

"Well?" You asked, mildly nervous that they weren't pretty.

"They're- they're- amazing. Gorgeous. I mean, God how do I describe them? They're blood red but they're also ash gray, they're like the sunset through storm clouds. They're also, God they're huge! What are they, a hundred feet?" His description of your wings was cause for you to blush. 

"65, 70 feet give or take." You beamed at him.

"May I touch them?" He asked as he ducked underneath to get a look from the back. In response you made them smaller, only showing one pair and now with a span of only 25 or so feet. He reached out and softly brushed the top of your wings with his strong hands. The feathers twitched, a couple even fell out. He retracted his hand instantly.

"Oh shit I'm so sorry!" He said as he bent to pick up the feathers.

"Teddy, it's okay. They're supposed to do that." You told him.

"Oh okay..." He hesitantly put his hand back on your wing, slowly gaining confidence as he ran his hand along the smooth feathers. You hummed happily in response. He the proceeded to run against the grain, fluffing the feathers, letting them collect between his fingers. At this point you groaned, shifting your wings to lean into the touch. He laughed at you.

"Feel good?" He asked.

"Wonderful. Imagine getting the best massage in the world for the first time ever. That's how good." You groaned out as he continued fumbling with your feathers. He laughed at you again and pulled his hands out, you made a small noise of disappointment.

"So what's it like being you?" He asked you suddenly. You were a bit taken back.

"What do you mean?" 

"What's it like being the strongest thing in the universe?" He asked you again.

"Well, Sam, I'm not the strongest. You're forgetting about God and Amara." You reminded him. 

"Y/N, you forget that you're not them. You aren't even related to them. You're an unexplained force. The extent of your powers is known only by you." He explained to you. You just laughed at him.

"Well, I guess we'll see if I ever have to face one or both of them but I doubt that day will ever come." You said, half joking, half terrified of what would happen. "Now! Let's go back inside, I didn't turn off my music." You sprinted to the door and ran down the stairs, following the sound of the flowing music. When you realized what song it was you ran faster. Sam was following close behind. You could hear the lyrics faintly as you neared the newly renovated kitchen.

"A drop in the ocean, a change in the weather, I was praying that you and me might end up together." You sang along softly to the song. Turning around you faved Sam. "Will you dance with me?" You asked him cutely.

"What?" He seemed surprised.

"Dance with me. It's a beautiful song, it's a beautiful day, and we are beautiful people. It's only natural that we dance." You said matter of factly. He laughed and shook his head at you but wrapped his arms around your waist anyway. You slid your arms up around his neck and rested your head on his chest.

"You are you know." He said softly into your ear.

"I am what?"

"Beautiful." The one simple word that he said with such passion made your heart flutter and a deep blush cover your body. You were glad he couldn't see your face.

"Th- thank you..." You said into his chest. You two danced until the final line of the song.

"Im holding you closer than most 'cause you are my, heaven..." You thought that would be the end of your interaction and he would return to bed, but you were proven wrong when your sides were once again attacked by the onslaught of tickles. You giggled and squealed as he trapped you against the wall, relentlessly jabbing your ribs. But you fought dirty, you used your powers to tickle the bottoms of his feet, causing him to laugh and jump around as if on hot coals. This just made you laugh so hard you doubled over clutching your stomach

"That's... Not... Fair!" He said between hops. 

"Alls fair in love and war!" You laughed out. He gave you a look.

"Oh it's on now..." He ran out of the room, you assumed to his 'evil lair'.

"Whatever you say, Teddy!" You called after him eating a good hearted groan from him. You laughed to yourself and began to plan things you could do to him. You thought about salt on the toothbrush, nair in the shampoo, blue cheese in the shampoo, or even bending his mind a little so he thought he woke up in a woman's body. You thought that last one crossed a line a little so you saved it for last, going for the tamer salt on the toothbrush for now. You snuck into his bedroom with the container of salt, wet the toothbrush, and dipped the bristles into the salt, quickly returning it and retreating from the room, returning to your own. Only to find that all of your clothes were missing. Every single piece of clothing, down to the underwear.

"TEDDY?!" You screeched. You were met with silence. You groaned and ran around the bunker in search of either Sam or your clothes. When you couldn't find either you gave up and decided to go to the store an pick up some Nair to put in his shampoo. You could've just zapped yourself there but you liked driving so you took your truck instead. It reminded you of your dad.

When you got to the store you did some shopping as well, picking up some groceries and then going to get some clothes for yourself. One of which being a beautiful full length gown with cut outs on the sides, a slit up the leg, and a low cut back with a high neck. It was a deep red color that you thought made your eyes stand out. You wandered through the store for a little while longer before heading back to the bunker. On the way down the winding and deserted road, something appeared in front of your car, scaring the shot out of you. You slammed on the brake and swerved to avoid whatever it was. Your car veered off the road and into a tree, causing your body to jerk forward against the seatbelt knocking the wind out of you. Groaning you took off your seatbelt and pushed your way out of the car, falling about five feet. Glancing up you saw your car was suspended between the road and a tree. Frustrated you climbed up onto the road. Collapsing onto the pavement, you finally got to healing yourself. You stood up and looked around for whatever had jumped in front of your car. You hugged when you didn't see anything and turned back to your wrecked truck. Just as you decided to leave it and go ask Dean for help, someone gripped your shoulder tight.

"Y/N!" The man said out of breath, "Y/N, you're in danger! You need to take off the necklace!" You turned around.

"Gabriel?!" You gasped in surprise.

"You need to take off the necklace. She- she can find you now..." He said frantically.

"Gabe, I'm not in the mood for your tricks! I'm pissed at you for wrecking my car!" He yelled at him. He gave you a confused look.

"What car? Shit it must've been her. I need to get you out of here." He said panicking. You didn't want to believe that there was something wrong but he seemed genuine.

"Gabriel, what's going on?" You asked, stopping him in his tracks.

"Y/N we don't have time for this, if God found out I was with you he'd smite me. None of the Angels are supposed to speak with you." He told you. Although, he got the opposite of what he wanted. You took a few steps away from him, earning a groan from him.

"Gabe." You said in a low demanding tone, "what is going on?"

"Amara! She's coming after you!" He yelled, grabbing your hand and flying you two elsewhere.

"Wait what? Why?" You said in extreme confusion and fear. Amara was strong. Probably-one-of-three-things-that-could-kill-you strong. That fact terrified you. Anyone could kill you with the right tool, but it was almost impossible to get. You watched Gabe look around, as if to figure out where he transported the two of you. You watched him wander a short distance in confusion before running back over to you with a wild look in his eyes.

"No no no no no nonononononono NO!" He shouted as he grabbed your arm, shutting his eyes tight. When he opened them again he screamed in frustration.

"Gabriel, what is going on?!" You shouted at him, trying to get his attention.

"Y/N don't worry, I've got this. Alright?" He said to you but it seemed like he was talking to himself. Suddenly a black smoke filled the air, creating a cyclone around you. Separating you and Gabriel.

"GABE!" You screamed against the wind. No answer. You stumbled around in the dark shadow like smoke, trying to find the man who tried to protect you. Soon your stumbles were less the wind and more because of a dizzy state. You became groggy quickly and your breathing increased rapidly. You fell to the ground and the smoke disappeared, revealing Gabriel being held against a wall and a woman walking towards you.

"Amara." You panted out, trying to be menacing.

"Y/N. You took my beloved brother away from me, you're why he locked me away. And now I'm taking you from him." She my punctuated that sentence with a rough kick to your jaw. You spat blood onto the ground, staring up at her in disgust.

"There's no way you can kill me Amara. You can't get all the components of the poison." You growled at her.

"You know, you may be right. But, I got the blood of the righteous man broken, blood of the broken body righteous mind, blood of a virgin, blood of a whore, but I wasn't able to get the blood of the other. Obviously. Dusk is currently MIA. But I got enough. I think you'll find the result much to my liking. Maybe not yours..." She grinned wickedly, you spat more blood at her before she disappeared. Gabriel was finally released from against the wall and he ran over to you.

"Hey, hey, it's gonna be okay. We'll get Dusk, we'll get the antidote we-" his voice broke, "Savior please..." Tears slipped out of his eyes, dripping off his chin. 

"Is this how you treat every drugged girl you come across?" You slurred.

"No... Only you..." He whispered as your scenery changed. You were back at the bunker. Sam and Dean immediately rose out of their chairs and rushed to you. Gabe backed away and you heard him tell the boys that you were poisoned. He then prayed to Cas explaining the situation. He was there in seconds.

"Hey Y/N, Dawn, you beautiful thing. Hang on for me okay?" Dean said with tears threatening to spill.

"Just call that broken hallelujah, Bean. I'll always be near. It will all be okay." You told him. He shook his head at you, water flowing freely from his eyes now. Sam came and put a hand on deans shoulder. A sign for him to leave. Sam crouched down go be closer to your lying form.

"Hey Teddy." You said softly, offering a weak smile.

"Hey." He says. The tiny word held so much emotion. He was angry, sad, depressed, and just about every negative emotion there ever was.

"Don't worry about me, I'm just a drop in the ocean." You winked at him, he smiled. Both of you thought about the fun you'd had earlier that day. He shook his head sadly and moved for Cas. He sat down next to your head, stroking your H/L H/C hair. 

"I'm glad the last thing I get to see are my husbands eyes." You smiled at him. He glanced down at the ground before meeting your eyes once again.

"I never thought the Savior would die. Let alone in front of my own eyes." He said sadly.

"Cas, I'm no savior. I've saved nobody. Don't have faith in me, have faith in yourself. Okay?" He nodded at you. 

"Take care of Riot for me." You said to him.

"Riot is not a vessel, Dusk chose to become a canine. He will die with you."  
You simply nodded your understanding. Then his eyes flashed and they became the baby blue you were so familiar with. The grin on your face grew.

"Jimmy!" You said happily.

"Y/N, I love you. I'm gonna make this quick. I'm asking Cas to kill me so we can be together again in heaven. He's already told me how it works. It'll be great. Don't worry. I love you, my darling." You smiled sadly and let him huh you despite the pain coursing through your body. The burning sensation was growing everywhere.

"I love all of you so much." You said softly as exhaustion began to take over. Tears slipped down your cheeks.You fought the urge to close your eyes and fall asleep but you lost the battle. You let the blackness overtake you, allowing yourself to die.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How do you guys like the story? How do you feel about your death? How oh how can the story continue?? *evil laughter*
> 
> Please please please crave a kudos and a comment! I love hearing your thoughts! In fact, your comments are what gave me ideas and are actually the only reason this series is still going on! Thank you to all who've commented and left a kudos! I assure you I've seen it, I'm working on replies. I've made it my goal to reply to as many as I can. I've got something in store for every one of you shippers now. Everyone from Dean to God plus a character or two I haven't introduced yet! 
> 
> Thank you all for your support, it means a lot!! I hope y'all stick with this until the end!


	13. The Aftermath...

Third person POV

When news of your death reached God, the world went into upheaval. God could no longer find the strength to hold back Amara. She took away the only thing that made everything worth it to him: you. No one has seen God for weeks, not since your death. Not even Gabriel. After about two months, the boys finally held a funeral. Sam, Dean, Cas, and Gabriel were all in attendance together.

Prior to the funeral

Castiel held your dead body in his arms, tears sliding down his cheeks. He reached and brushed your hair back as he cradled your still body to his chest. He shifted so that your back was to his chest and just held you. Rocking you the whole time. Sam and Dean watched with saddened expressions and Gabriel sat emotionless. Refusing to accept that your life had ended. That his Savior was gone. He watched as Cas reached for your right hand, slipping off the blue stone ring that wrapped around it and placing it on his own pinky finger. Gabriel gave a sad frown as he thought about the spell he placed on the rings. The confession that was required to unbind them. A confession of love. Gabriel approached your unmoving body and lifted you from Castiel's grasp, bringing you to your bedroom and lying you on your bed.

"I'm sorry." He said softly into your ear before placing a chaste kiss on your pale forehead. He left the room, allowing Dean to enter and say his goodbye.

"God dammit, Y/N. What do I do now?" He shook his head as tears slipped down his cheeks. He brushed them away quickly as if trying to keep you from seeing. He glanced up at your wall, it was covered in photos. Top to bottom. Pictures of you and Sam, you and Cas, you and Dean, all four of you together. There were tons of them, a hundred at least. He lifted one from the wall of you and him. It was a day not too long ago, you and him were in the front of the impala, Sam was in the back, you had him take a picture because you thought it 'looked cute'. Dean had rolled his eyes at you at the time but he appreciated the photo now. He flipped it over to the other side, you had written something on the back. It read: 'Me and Bean, on the way home from a vamp nest.'

Dean slipped the photo into his pocket and looked at you one last time, holding your hand. His skin brushed the cold metal of the bracelet he gave you. He slipped it off and put it on his own wrist, kissing it.

"I miss you already..." He sighed as he got up and left the room. Sam walked in, Riot in his arms.

"I thought maybe the two of you should be together." He placed the unmoving animal next to you. As he did so, the two of you began to glow, a light so bright he had to look away. When he returned his gaze to you, he only saw you. Riot was gone.

"She finally becomes whole again..." He chuckled to himself. He looked around your room. He saw the photos, he saw the files piled on your desk, he saw everything that made up you. Then his eyes landed on something special. The hoodie. The sweatshirt he gave you on your birthday. He walked over and picked it up, smelling it. It smelled like you. There were holes in it, it was stained with blood, it was well worn. You had it on during hunts all the time. Sam folded it up and held it in his lap when he sat down by your bed again.

"Hey Red, I'm gonna miss you." He said as he held your cold hand. "I wanted to give you a nickname equally as embarrassing as 'Teddy' but your aura is beautiful. So I couldn't help but call you Red. Guess that's a moot point now though huh?" He let out a nervous laugh. Cold wet tears spilled down his cheeks as he leaned over the bed and hugged your stomach, breathing in your now stale scent one last time before walking out.

Hours later, when he knew the boys were gone, God came by and stopped by your room. He didn't say anything, he just held your hand and cried. He feels as if it was his fault you died. He sat with you for hours, until the boys came home. He then placed a soft kiss on each eyelid, your nose, and then your forehead.

"I'm sorry my beautiful Darling. I love you." He gave your hand a soft squeeze before flashing out. He watched the world succumb to the darkness which just worsened his guilt. He knew you wouldn't have wanted this but he can't see how him and Amara can remain in any type of balance without you. You had united them, you gave them something in common. Even if at the time you were just an annoyance and they didn't know who you truly were. You gave them common ground. And now, you were gone. God gave up, and The Darkness took control. 

The day of the funeral

All five of the boys surrounded a small pile of logs, encased inside was your body. Each of them wore a dark red ribbon around their wrists in honor of your memory. They each said a few words, but they were meaningless in front of the other men. They said truly meaningful words when alone with your corpse. Castiel went first.

"Y/N, Dawn, Dusk, Savior. I remember fondly the time we spent together due to the rings. The trick that Gabriel played on us. I remember your laugh when I said something odd, the worry in your face when you could tell I was upset, I remember the feel of your thumb worrying patterns into my hand, how your body felt against mine that night at the motel. You once asked me what it took to break the binding spell, and I told you: a confession. Although, you never found out the kind of confession. One of love. What I said in Enochian roughly translates to: 'I'm in love with your body, your beauty, and your soul. You are my light.' I wish now that I had spoken it in plain English. It will always be my biggest regret." He placed your favorite flower on top of the small log pile encasing your body. 

"I remember, you always stopped and looked at these flowered the most. I do not know what they are called, but they will always remind me of you." His voice broke and his eyes spilled over as he walked away, allowing for Gabriel to say his final goodbye.

"Savior, I never thought I would see you die. But you died honorably. I can't ask for anything more than that." He let out a deep sigh and fiddled with his hands.

"Y/N, I've known you for millennia. Your memories may not be so clear, you've loved much longer than I. There was one day, you came to my heaven relaying orders from God. I was on a beach, the sun was setting and there were women everywhere. All had your eyes, your h/l hair, that same beautiful h/c color, but as soon as you entered my heaven, they were unnecessary. The beach was unnecessary. The sunset was pointless because it could never match your aura. You never realized it, even though it was obvious. You were my heaven, and I miss you." He took another deep breath before continuing.

"I love you." His voice cracked and he traced his hand over the logs, etching Enochian symbols into them. They read: 'Burn Bright, Burn Hot, Burn Deep, Burn Red, Your Death Will Be Remembered Until The End.' He sniffled as he patted the logs one last time before allowing God alone time with you. The man with the swirling golden ribbons approached the wooden tomb, placing a hand on the cold surface.

"Y/N. My beautiful, beautiful love. I lived without you once and I was half a man. Then you came back to me, my love had returned. Yet only weeks later, you were gone. Again. It was all my fault. If I hadn't given you the necklace you-" his voice caught, he paused and cleared his throat.

"You would still be alive." He finished. Tears spilled out of his eyes and fell onto the ground. He shook his head, suddenly angry.

"I can't do this without you Y/N!!" He bellowed, "I cannot balance with Amara. I cannot control the light, the darkness, there is no gray area without you. It is all either black or white. I don't know what to do! My beautiful, please help me... I miss you so much... Please... I want you in my arms again..." He sobbed, his heart breaking. He rested his back against the wood, slowly sliding down to the ground. He was devastated to the point he couldn't move. He couldn't think straight. After a while, Gabriel came out and collected him. Explaining that the others needed to say goodbye, that Dean wanted to say goodbye. The bow legged man slowly walked up to your log encased body, tears already sliding down his face.

"Y/N... God dammit. It can't be true, can it? I mean.. You're Dusk! Dawn! Whatever the hell you want to be called. You can't die! Without you here the balance is thrown. God has given up, Amara has unleashed a dark sickness upon the world, everything has gone to shit." He pounded on the logs until his knuckles were bloodied and bruised. He collapsed to the ground in a bloody, broken, weeping heap. 

"I miss you so much Y/N... My little Red... I always thought your power was beautiful. Reminded me of a sunset. It always have me the sense of calm that comes with a sunset too. You know that feeling? You're beautiful too you know. I wish I told you that..." He sniffled.

"I wish I told you a lot of things. Number one on that list: how I feel about you. Number two: now that you're gone, I'll never feel that way about anyone ever again." He broke down again, a sob wracked his body.

"Hallelujah, little red... Hallelujah..." His voice breaking as he leaned against the unforgiving wood. After a time he gathered himself. He stood up and faced your tomb once again.

"I'm sorry Red." He whispered before placing a kiss on the hard surface. He then left to allow Sam time with you. The tall shaggy haired man approached your wooden tomb hesitantly. He reached out and stroked the etched wood softly.

"Gabriel's back to fucking around already?" He laughed at himself.

"Y/N I'm so sorry. It's my fault you're in this mess. If I hadn't brought you to the bunker in the first place you would still be Y/N Novak, living in Roseville with her husband and her dog. I wish I could've saved you, I wish I could've saved you from the pain of losing Jimmy..." Tears began to slide down his reddened face.

"I wish I did a lot of things... But most of all I wish I told you that my heart races when you're near, that whenever I hear your name my heart skips a beat, that when we danced, it was as if we were the only people in the world." His tear stained face only grew more red as he shouted for the world to hear. 

"You know what?! I don't believe you're gone. You can't be dead. You're fucking Dawn and Dusk for fucks sake. How in the name of hell can you die?! I will never stop looking for you!" His voice boomed across the field.

"How in the name of hell indeed?" A low British voice rang out in the clearing. Sam whipped around, only to be met with the face of an enemy. 

"Crowley," Sam growled out, "why are you here?" His voice tough from crying. 

"Well, your lovely little lobster pearl here," he gestured to your corpse, "and I have recently made acquaintance. And by that I mean I saved her from going into limbo and now I have her in my little special place." He smirked at Sam as he watched the shaggy mans anger increase. 

"Give her back to me." Sam spat out through gritted teeth. 

"Ah ah ah..." Crowley said shaking a finger, "if you're gonna make a deal with a demon, you gotta do it the right way." Sam paused for a moment. Weighing the option in his head. 

"Okay... What kind of deal?" He said semi confidently. Crowley grinned and smacked his hands together, rubbing them as if he were a villain in a cartoon. 

"Wonderful, let's get started. Shall we?" Sam only nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! Sorry it took so long to update. Been busy. I hope you enjoyed!!! Thee are only a few chapters left!! It will probably go to about 20-25 chapters total I think. Or at least how I'm planning it out right now that's how long it'll be about. I really hope you stay with this til the very end, you're comments and support are the only thing that's kept this story going I didn't really expect it to get as popular as it did, on Wattpad I've got a total of four comments, twelve votes, and about 200 reads compared to here, 51 comments, 60+ kudos, and 1000+ hits. So thank you guys so much. Really. Please keep up the requests and stuff! I don't know if I'll be able to fit all of them in the story with how I want it to go but I'll try my best. And besides, it really helps spark ideas! Until next time!!


	14. Deal or No Deal?

Your soul drifted endlessly towards a destination that you could not describe. You remained like this for what felt like millions of years, until suddenly, you were yanked out of your calm, peaceful, and endless journey into a world of chaos, sound, light, scents, feelings. You let out a screech as you were pulled through the fabric of reality. You collapsed onto the ground, chest heaving and looked up at whatever had interrupted your perfect eternity.

"Well hello, lovely. You definitely look as beautiful as they say, Y/N." You cringed at his voice, the British accent seemed all too familiar.

"How do you know who I am? What's going on?" You tried to stand but collapsed. Suit clad arms caught you and you sunk into his embrace, not realizing how much you missed physical contact.

"Eager are we?" He purred into your ear. You just huffed at him. He set you down on a nearby sofa.

"What's going on?" You growled at him.

"Well, I'm Crowley, King of hell. Nice to meet you." He puffed his chest out a little, clearly proud of himself.

"Enchanted..." You said through gritted teeth.

"You were in Limbo. Amara's little potion wasn't able to work without the 'blood of the other'. But now that you two are whole again, there is no worry of that. I got you out of Limbo." He puffed his chest out again, as if you were supposed to be thankful.

"Who is Amara? I'm whole again? What's going on?" You questioned again. "Also, who is Y/N? My name is Dawn. Or Dusk if you prefer." You told him. A frown quickly appeared on his stubbled face. He walked towards you, placing his palm on your forehead. A flash of blood red light filled your vision as a stab of pain flooded your entire body. You let out an ear piercing scream and fell to the floor in a seizing fit. Crowley simply waited until it passed, there was nothing he could do. You had to regain your memories of life on Earth, and before that. What felt like hours to you was only a few seconds in reality. Your fit ended almost as quick as it began. Crowley helped you up.

"Crowley? Where am I?" You questioned him, now understanding your reality as memories slowly returned.

"Really Dawn?"

"It's Y/N." You snapped.

"Well it's good to know you're back. Anyway, short version. You were in limbo because you couldn't be killed by the potion but it was enough to make you leave your body. You and Dusk are now one again, and I saved you from Limbo." He spoke very fast. The memories came trickling back as he spoke. Then they came back in a flood. You let out a choked sob as you pictures the boys faces in your mind, wet with tears as they said goodbye to you.

"Where is my body now?" You asked him hesitantly.

"In your bedroom. They're procrastinating the funeral." He told you simply.

"Get me back to it." You growled at him, you needed your boys back.

"It'll take a few weeks okay love?"

"Alright..."

"In the meantime, lets have some fun! Let's party! Enjoy ourselves." He grabbed your hand and dragged you out of the room.

The next few weeks, you lived with Crowley. You actually had a lot of fun with him, the two of you had grown very close very quickly. You had even shared a quick kiss or two, but it was only when he was extremely drunk. You never initiated anything. You got the idea that he was harboring feelings for you but you never mentioned it. You were enjoying yourself, enjoying the attention you've been so long deprived of.

A day came when Crowley was out on business and you were in Hell, taking a nap on the bed you and Crowley shared sometimes, when all of a sudden you woke up laying in a small dark room. Instantly you panicked, not knowing what was going on. You called for Crowley, but he never came. You ran your hands along the walls of your prison, you pounded on the ceiling. It cracked. You hadn't done it in a very long time, but you brought forth your power to your palms and shoved the ceiling upwards. It flew away instantly. You used your tired and now thin body to climb out of the shallow hole in the ground. Collapsing on the outside, you called for Crowley again. You knew he could help you, but again, he didn't come.

Crowley was on business with the Winchester boys. Not that you knew that of course.  It was the day of your funeral, and Crowley needed the soul of the 'Damned now Pure'. In other words, he needed Sam's soul to open the gates of hell forever. He was to be the sacrifice. So when the shaggy haired man came to say goodbye to you for the last time, Crowley stepped out of the shadows and made his offer.

"I saved her from limbo and now she's in my special place."

"You piece of shit, give her back to me." He growled at Crowley.

"Ah ah ah..." He shook his finger.

"What kind of deal?"

"Your soul for hers. Even trade, soul for a soul." He told Sam matter of factly. Sam began to pace, he didn't know what to do.

"She's in hell with me, and let me tell you she's a hell of a lot of fun to play with." He chuckled, knowing he was aggravating the tall man.

"Don't you dare fucking touch her." Sam growled as he shoved a finger into Crowleys face.

"But what if she likes it?" The demon fake pouted. Sam let out a roar and punched the king of hell square in the jaw.

"Alright I'll do it." Sam spat at the man on the ground.

"Gotta seal the deal." Crowley smirked, spitting out blood.

It had been a few hours and you still sat on the ground by your grave. You ignored the tears that wanted to spill from your eyes and shifted so that you were sitting upright. You could remember remnants of what the boys said to you during their final goodbyes.

_'I love you.'_  
_'I wish I told you how I felt about you.'_  
 _'You're my heaven.'_  
 _'You are my light_.'  
' _I wish I had you in my arms again.'_

Their beautiful words made your heart hurt and tears slip down your face. These men became such a huge part of your life so fast... You had to get back to them. Tell them you loved them, and tell _him_ you loved him. You had to tell 'the one'. Pulling forth your powers again, you healed your body back to full strength. Getting up finally, you began the walk to the bunker. You would've flown but you were still exhausted, still getting used to having your powers back, still getting used to being alive again. When you made it to the bunker, you saw Dean and Cas outside, it looked like they were arguing.

"You know exactly what he did! I don't know if I'd be able to see her and not be angry. He's my brother for fucks sake!" Dean yelled into Cas's face.

"Dean, I realize that. I care about Sam too-"

"Yeah. You may care about him, but I love him. He's my brother." Dean said, his voice softer now.

"Dean if she comes to us, we can't blame her for what Sam did. Crowley gave him a choice, and he made it." What were they talking about? Crowley? Sam? What did Sam do? You took another step forward, more than ready to reunite with your friends, but what Dean said next stopped you in your tracks.

"The bastard sold his soul for Y/N Cas. He didn't even get a day, let alone ten years. How do we get him out of this?" His voice was low and tired, his face was saddened, and his shoulders were slumped. Your breath caught in your throat. Sam and his soul, for you. You quickly flew away, not caring that it may ultimately harm you. You collapsed in the middle of a small town. You looked around and slowly began to recognize where you were. Roseville. Roseville, fucking, Montana. You quickly got your bearings and made your way to your first safe house, where you lived with your dad and your brother. Memories of them came flooding back. Tears returned to your eyes and this time you let them fall freely. You fell to the floor, exhausted and depressed. You felt worthless, like a bother. You could tell Dean was angry with you. Cas was too, even if he didn't show it. Long, loud sobs escaped your body as you say on the ground in the doorway. You giggled to yourself as you thought of how you did this same thing when you were 16. In the same place even. It felt as if your life was on a loop, living the same 16 years over and over again. You kept losing someone you loved. You finally managed you pull some strength into your body to get up and look around. The place was just as you left it with Castiel, what felt like a lifetime ago. It was devoid of everything. It was all in the bunker now. Or was, you didn't know if the boys threw your stuff out. You glanced at the cork board by the door and saw your number and email still sitting there. A sad smile graced your face as you went over to the board.

"I miss you Dad. Kevin. I'll always love you..." You whispered as you took down the contact information, burning it with a small pulse of power. "But now, I've got people here, alive, with me that I need to take care of." Your face steeled. You needed to get Sam back. You had to show Dean and Cas you weren't worthless.

You flashed yourself to the nearest demon hangout, most demons knew who you were so they recognized you quickly and rose from their seats, heads slightly bowed and eyes closed.You didn't know what that meant but you didn't care right now. You just cared about saving Sam.

"How do I get into Hell?" You asked them, a sharp edge to your voice. None of them even so much as opened their eyes.

"Alright, let me rephrase," a terrifying smile made its way into your features, "Get. Me. Into. HELL." You screamed the last word, throwing some of your power into the word. You glanced around the room as two demons fell to the ground, dead, and others ears were bleeding. Finally one looked up at you and gestures for you to follow. Smoldering, you followed him through a doorway where you were met with a throne facing away from you. Confused you sauntered your way around the chair, allowing your powers to flow around you in a light show full of different shades of red. You felt powerful, strong, beautiful. You felt reborn as you went to face your enemy. Finally, turning to face the being in the chair you saw Crowley. Suddenly, the lights how around you darkened, growing almost black in color. A snarl grew on your face and your eyes flashed and became an intense red. Crowley seemed unsurprised to see you.

"Hello, darling." His sultry voice graced your ears, causing you to hiss.

"It's Y/N." You growled, the energy flowing around you pulsing. Crowley just gave you a sad smile.

"I know, but right now you aren't the Y/N I know." He said, he sounded tired. Upset even.

"Maybe you don't know me that well then." You spat back at him.

"Maybe I'm talking to Dusk right now." He sighed.

"I am one person. I am Dusk, I am Y/N, I am Dawn. We are one and I am not three" You said, taking stiff, angry strides towards the man in the chair.

"Give Sam back to me." The anger clear in your voice and face.

"Even if I did want to do that, I couldn't. He is being prepared to be used as sacrifice."

"What?!" You roared, shaking the building you were in. Crowley glanced up, slight apprehension in his eyes. But it quickly disappeared.

"You want him, go find him." He said dismissively.

"What happened to you Crowley? This isn't the man who cared for me for weeks."

"That man died when you lived." He murmured, almost too quiet for you to hear. The energy pulsing around you lessened slightly. You let out a scream of frustration and quickly left, flashing into the bunker. You went straight past Dean and Cas who both called your name out of surprise and terror. You stomped into Sam's room and picked up his favorite knife. Using it to pinpoint his location required peace and quiet. Something you would not have here. You walked out of the bunker, Dean and Cas chasing after you. With a wave of your hand, they forgot the encounter. Forgetting that you were alive, you didn't have time to grieve over the fact that they thought you were dead. You had to find Sam.

You set up to locate him in your old safe house in Montana. It took less than two minutes before the knife began carving the location into the floorboards.

" _Gotchya_." You breathed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave comments and kudos! I love to know you're enjoying my work! We are nearing closer and closer to the end! Minimum of six chapters left! A special surprise in each of them... Mwah ha ha... Love you all for your care and support!


	15. Taking the World by Storm

" _Gotchya_." A smirk grew on your face. You could break the deal. You had to. You had to save Sam. You didn't know how long he'd been down there now but you weren't going to let him stay for much longer. You looked down at the floorboards and scowled. Crowley had him holed up in a private spot in Purgatory. Even though you knew where he was it would take you a long time to find him. Growling, you set out on your journey to gain entrance to purgatory.

You went to the nearest demon hang out, storming in, powers swirling. Fear was evident on their faces. Although, they still all stood, closed their eyes, and bowed their heads. The red light show flickered as confusion and doubt laced your mind. You quickly pushed it away.

"Where is the entrance to purgatory?" You growled at them. A woman stepped forward, eyes still closed and head still bowed.

"Entrance to hell is found through reapers for hire," she said in a quiet but steady voice.

"Did I say hell?" Your voice grew louder and much more agitated.

"No, Quee-, no Dusk." She spoke again, her voice slightly wavering this time, "but entrance to purgatory is found through hell. Inside the castle, below the throne room. Much like a dungeon." She finished. The fact that she almost called you queen stuck out in your mind but you had to push past it for now. You needed to get Sam out.

You didn't need a reaper to get into hell, at this point you knew all the tips and tricks. You made your way to Minneapolis, finding yourself in an abandoned home. Crowley told you of many entrances and secret doors to hell. Little did he know that this knowledge would be used against him. You entered the small rundown house, and going to the basement where you knew a backdoor to be, you spoke the ancient words that would lead to its opening. Readily enough, a doorway opened up on the once blank canvas that was the concrete wall in front of you. You stepped forward, attempting to push the doorway open more but found it was stuck. Open only wide enough for a hand to fit though. Although, no problem. You gathered your warm energy into your arms, shoulders, back, until it filled up your entire body. Once you felt unstoppable, you rammed into the passageway with all your force. The portal taking you into the underworld.

You opened your eyes to be met with only darkness, and all of your senses were assaulted. A moldy smell flew into your nose, a deadly silence entered your ears and the room was eerily cool. You knew you were in hell. You could recognize the feel of it, the emptiness of it anywhere. You tried to stand up but your body felt drained, tired. You pulled forth your power and felt it pool in your palms weakly before flickering out leaving your hands chilled to the bone. Grunting in a mixture of frustration and effort you forced yourself to stand. Reaching your arms out you tried to find a wall or something to hold on to as your eyes adjusted to your dark surroundings. You stumbled a couple steps when your fingers were met with a cool stone, you stood there for a moment as your environment came into focus. You were in a musty storage room. Barely able to make out your hand in front of your face, you wandered around the room, hand against the wall, until you were met with a doorway. You fumbled a moment before you found a doorknob. Opening the door a crack, a blinding yellow light flooded your vision but you didn't allow yourself any time to adjust. You flew through the doorway into an empty hallway. You heard footsteps down the hall, around the corner and panicked. What were you going to do? Your mind raced as they neared. Ultimately, you never reached a decision. But when the owner of the footsteps rounded the corner and saw you, they instantly shut their eyes and bowed. Still confused by this odd gesture, you decided to use it to your advantage.

"Where is the throne room?" You ground out as you took long, loud steps towards the man. His only response was a gesture with his hand indicating somewhere behind himself.

"Speak." Your voice was agonizingly slow. The man responded now, but he kept his head down and his eyes closed.

"Down the hall, second left, first right, third right, first left." His voice shook but was rather confident otherwise. You clapped him on the back before continuing on your way, following his directions. When you made the last left you came across a massive set of doors, guards posted on either side. As they spotted you, they followed the same pattern as the previous demon you encountered. Eyes closed, head down. Ignoring them, you walked towards the doors ready to obliterate them with the still feeble powers you had. Instead, the two demons opened the doors for you. You continued walking without giving them a second glance.

Entering the room you were met with an all too familiar man in a chair. He looked up at you with a sad expression in his eyes. You scowled at him but he just looked away. You conjured a weak light show to showcase your powers.

"Where is Sam?" You growled at the man before you.

"I couldn't tell you even if I wanted to, darling." He said in a smooth voice.

"Let's rephrase that shall we? Where is the entrance to Purgatory? I know it's in hell." Your show of force made him glance up at you a smirk dancing on his lips.

"Again couldn't tell you." He said, looking back down from your angered expression.

"Easy way or the hard way 'buddy'." You spat the word buddy in his face, making sure he knew that you would never be as close as you once were again.

"Love-"

"Y/N" you growled. He resigned.

"Y/N, I can't give you any information that would lead to him because you can break the contract with your power. You can find it on your own however." His British accent that once made your heart flutter made you angry now.

"Hard way then." You gathered any and all power you had left in your reserves and slammed down on the floor of the throne room. It gave way and you, Crowley, and various other demons went hurtling into the dark hole before appearing in a forest. You groaned as your powers you could feel were almost depleted. It would take a few days to be back up to full strength and you chastised yourself for not resting previously. You stood and took daunting strides towards the fallen King.

"Want to tell me now?" You punctuated the question by spotting in his face. He calmly wiped it off before rising.

"Sorry darling." Was his only response. You exploded, you punched him square in the face causing him to fall to the ground. You bent down and grabbed his collar, lifting him off the ground slightly. His eyes grew wide, you could clearly see their whites. You beat him across the face repeatedly, enjoying the sounds of pain he was emitting.

"This is for Sam." You punched him again.  
"Dean." Again.  
"Cas." Again.  
"Gabe." Again.  
"God." Again.  
"Riot." Again.  
"Myself." Again.  
"Jimmy." With the last punch you gathered an ounce of your powers into your fist, landing the blow across his bloody and probably broken jaw. Tears streamed down your face as you let go of his collar and threw him to the ground before pulling Sam's knife out of your waistband. Whether they were out of anger or sadness you couldn't quite tell. You walked over to a boulder and set the knife on top, speaking an incantation before spinning the hunting blade. It rose off the grey rock and pointed somewhere to your left. Snatching the blade out of the air, you ran off on the direction it pointed. As you ran, you heard a faint voice behind you yell 'Get her!' Which just made you laugh and sprint faster. Your legs carried you across the forest floor but you felt as if you were flying, no concept of tiredness or fatigue clouded your mind as you searched for signs of Sam.

You came upon a clearing and decided it was a good time to check your heading. Speaking the incantation again, the knife rose into the air but pointed straight down this time. You glanced around in confusion, there was nothing there. You let you anger and frustration grow as you searched the area for an entrance of some sort. Instead, you were met with three demons, trapping you within a small triangle. Glancing around you smirked.

"Well, this just isn't a fair fight." You said sarcastically.

"Odds are in our favor." One of the demons smirked.

"Oh sweetheart..." You let out a cackle before lunging at the demon who spoke with the knife. You managed to lane a minor blow to his side creating a deep gash. The demon to your left, a blonde, came at your side. You landed a swift kick to her torso before whipping around and landing another even stronger kick in the same place. You quickly flipped the knife in your hand and turned around and stabbed the blonde demon in the chest, her face flashed gold and she dropped to the ground. The demon to your right flew forwards and landed a blow to your rib cage, knocking the wind out of you. The first demon came around and hived you against a tree spitting in your face. You quickly stabbed him in the chest grinning as you saw gold flash before he dropped. The remaining demon came up to you growled in your face and said:

"The boss had a protection on you. He just revoked it. You'll be dead in a week." You plunged the small dagger into the demons chin, watching the satisfying flash before dropping the body to the ground. Groaning I pain you rose to your feet. Feeling the familiar pol of heat in your palms you attempted to heal yourself, only to have you power flicker out again. Letting out a scream of frustration that shook the ground around you, you saw a strange shimmer of light. Walking over to the source, you raised your hands and reached forwards. Your fingertips brushed the wood of a tree, but it wasn't wood. It felt like rock. You walked over to the dead demons and soaked your hand in blood before returning to the concrete tree, running your hand along its trunk. You were surprised when your hand didn't follow the curve of the tree but followed a stiff horizontal path. There was a wall here. Fumbling along the wall for a window or door, you came to the corner of the building. You circled the small structure multiple times, unable to find entrance. Out of frustration, you took a running start at the building. Feeling your power build up in your body, you slammed into the building. The concrete wall instantly gave way causing you to collapse in a heap on the ground. Your body exhausted and barely able to move.

"Y/N!" A familiar voice graced your ears. You glanced up and adrenaline rushed through your body. Sam. He was here, chained to the ceiling but here. How you did it, you would never know, but you raised your fatigued body off the ground, unchained the shaggy wounded man, put him over your shoulder, and flashed the two of you into his room at the bunker.

Upon arriving in his bedroom, you dropped his heavy body onto the bed and stumbled for a moment before collapsing yourself. The physical and emotional toll of the last two days hitting you like a train. Your frail frame shook as you sobbed.

"Y/N...?" Sam asked tentatively, trying to reach for you but winced and pulled back. You looked up at him with pure sadness in your eyes. A wave of your hand and he fell asleep, forgetting the last few hours. Forgetting you saving him. Forgetting he was even saved. You used the last sliver of your powers to flash yourself to The Joker.

You appeared in a heap on the ground in front of Gabriel. You heard him faintly call 'Father!' Before his strong arms embraced you and you lost consciousness.

Waking up, who knows how long later, you were alone in the room. You glanced around and made note of the fact that you didn't know where you were, but that you were very comfortable so you didn't move. You heard arguing outside the door.

"We need to tell the Winchesters."

"No! She is with is now, where she should be..."

"You were there at the funeral! They deserve to-"

"NO!"

"Father." The last voice said sternly. You heard a loud sigh and one figure walking away. The other came into the room. You sat up quickly as a very familiar old face came into your vision.

"Darling you're awake!" God sprinted towards your side.

"How are you feeling?" He asked frantically, holding your face as he examined your body. You shrugged him off.

"I'm-" you paused, unsure of how you actually felt.

"I'm alive." Was all you said. He nodded his understanding. Memories flooded your mind. Losing Sam, finding him in hell. Attacking Crowley, almost destroying him. _Enjoying_ it. Thinking about the fact that you _enjoyed_ almost killing someone brought bike to your mouth. You leaned over the side of the sofa and conjured into the floor, God rubbing your back cooing nothings into your ear.

"What do I do?" You choked out.

"What you feel is right." Was all he said.

"I want to run away. Hide from everyone. Make everyone forget about me. Even you." You glanced at his eyes, hurt flashed deep in his irises. "But there is one part of me that wants to make things right. That wants to fix everything I did wrong." You said softly.

"What did you do wrong?" God asked you sincerely. Tears slipped down your cheek and he pulled you close to his chest. He stroked your hair and rubbed your back as you sobbed into his shoulder.

"I almost destroyed the world. I almost lost everyone around me. I got Sam locked in hell. But most of all-" you cut off as another son wracked your body. God pulled you into his lap and you curled your legs around his waist, your hands fisting into his shirt.

"I never told the truth..." Your pained voice was muffled by his shoulder.

"To who?" Was his only response. Heaving a big sigh, you lifted your head from his shoulder to reply.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright everyone, this is the second to last chapter. I need to write six more chapters now so the next update may take a little longer, I've got them mostly written already but I hope it'll be worth it.
> 
> Each chapter is a separate ending, so there will be six alternative endings.
> 
> Until next time!


	16. Dean Ending

"To who?"

"Dean." Was all you said, your voice a whisper in his shoulder. God rubbed your back, cooing in your ear.

"Tell him the truth. Just come outright and say it." He told you, pulling you away from him so he could look into your glowing eyes.

"Make it mean something so he can't be angry with you." He continued. You nodded and nestled yourself back into his comforting embrace.

One year later, the anniversary of your supposed death.

"It's time now, today's the day." You heaved a huge sigh and looked up at the man in front of you. He gave you a sad smile and pulled you into a big hug.

"I know you'll be able to do it." God said into your ear. Gabriel came up to your side as you pulled away from your life long friend.

"Yeah, my best girl's back at full power. There's nothing she can't handle." He winked at you. You smiled and giggled at the whiskey eyed man. He leaned over and kissed you on the cheek.

"Go get him, princess." He whispered into your ear. You nodded, tears slipping down your cheeks. You had to leave now or you would lose your confidence.

"Thank you guys for everything." You wiped a tear before flashing yourself to just outside the bunker. Quickly tracking Dean, you learned he was at a restaurant. You moved yourself to outside the buildings doors, looking in at the man you are in love with. Seeing his pained expression through the windows hurt you. He was drinking, and by the looks of the amount of glasses on the table, he was drinking a lot. You watched his long arm reach across the table to grab his drink when you notice a new tattoo on his inner bicep. Focusing on it you can read what it says:  
"Hallelujah, Bean."   
Tears prick your eyes as you see your silver bracelet on his wrist as well. The one he had given to you for your birthday. You finally work up the courage to enter the building, he doesn't turn his head towards the entrance. You walk up to the bar and order six shots as a confidence booster. Your hands were shaking and your heart was pounding. You turned around. His back was to you, but Sam was sitting across from him. You watched them for a moment, waiting for the shots to take effect.

"You've got to eat." You heard Sam say in an insistent voice. You watched Dean shake his heavy head.

"They don't have the kind of burger I like here." He said. You were confused, the burger sitting in front of him was his favorite. It had bacon, cheese, all the fixings he loved.

"Dean." Sam said sternly.

"They don't have it, I don't eat." Was all he replied.

"Not every bar and grill is going to have bean burgers. But you still need to eat something." Sam's voice was more insistent this time. A small gasp escaped your throat as you realized exactly why he wasn't eating the burger in front of him. Sam said it. Dean wouldn't eat meat patties anymore. You couldn't help the smile that grew on your fave when this fact was realized. However, Sam noticed you in the background. The long haired man saw you and you saw his face go from confusion to definition to fear to despair to defensive in the span of about two seconds. You held your finger to your lips as you walked over towards their table. Sam quickly stood up.

"Sammy you look like you've seen a ghost. What's going on?" Deans worried voice hung in the air as you leaned over to whisper in his ear.

"Call that Hallelujah, Bean. Everything's okay now." The man sitting in front of you had absolutely no relation to your voice.

"Sammy are you alright?" He repeated.

"You- she's- Y/N- it's- she-" he stuttered. Dean just shook his head.

"Sammy she's gone. The hallucinations will pass." He said the last part quietly as if trying to convince himself.

"Hallucinations? What? Dean turn around!" Sam basically shouted at him. Dean glanced up at his brother before standing and slowly turning over his shoulder. His apple green eyes met yours and you melted when you saw the pain that he held in them.

"Wait. You see her?" Dean said to Sam.

"Of course I see her!" Was all Sam could choke out.

"Have you been hallucinating about me?" You asked Dean quietly. He went rigid at hearing your small voice.

"Prove you're her." Was all he said, every muscle in his body tended, ready to pounce. You pulled your power into your hand and let it flow around you in a nervous show of light. You reached out your warmed palm, asking for his hand. Hesitantly, he put his hand on yours. The calloused skin giving you goosebumps, it took all of you not to embrace him. It took you a moment to regain your composure, but once you were able to focus you sent a flash of your power through his body. You saw memories flow across his irises like a movie. Tears pooled at the corner of his eyes. The moment he broke himself of the trance he pulled you into a tight hug, lifting you off the ground. You wrapped your arms around his neck and your legs around his waist as you buried your face in his neck. The familiar scent relaxing you. He made a muffled sound into your shoulder.

"What?" You said into his neck. He raised his head to respond.

"I've missed you so much. I love you Y/N." He looked dead into your eyes. You pushed your head forward and crashed your lips to his in a hesitant and clumsy kiss. You pulled away quickly, but he wasn't going to have that. He kissed you this time, a heated and passionate kiss this time. When you finally pulled away to breath, it took you a moment to speak.

"I love you too Dean. So much." Was all you said before gracing his tough lips with your own. You then realized you were still in a restaurant and flashed the two of you back to the bunker, sending a quick telepathic thought to Sam telling him where you were going. You appeared in his room, still tangled together. When he noticed the surroundings change he let out a small Yelp of surprise.

"I'll never get used to that..." He smirked before crashing his lips to yours again, backing you into his bed and letting you come to rest on the edge. He climbed over you, straddling you and looking longingly into your eyes. His apple green eyes flashed a deep forest green and all of a sudden you were in a forest. A bow legged man with glowing green eyes was coming after you, running with a terrifying cleaver in his hand. You let out an ear piercing screech and then you were back at the bunker, safe in Dean's room. He was shaking your shoulders.

"Y/N! Y/N! What's wrong?!" He was shouting at you. You glanced at him and his eyes were the spitting image of the man in the vision. You panicked and threw him a gross the room, pinning him against the wall with your powers, red flowing around him. He strained against the force.

"Y/N.. What's going... On...?" He groaned through his unmoving mouth. Realizing what was happening you released him and he fell to the ground coughing. You stared at your shaking hands as he got up and approached you. You flinched when he came near you causing your power to pulse, popping a lightbulb.

"What's going on?" He repeated.

"I- you- black- green- you were angry- scared maybe- you attacked me- it's been so long since I've had this nightmare..." You choked out.

"What was it?" He questioned frantically. You wracked your brain for the right word. When you realized the surroundings.

"Purgatory." Your voice was shaky. His eyes flashed and he pulled you close to his chest.

"I love you baby girl, nothing bad is ever gonna happen. I'll protect you everywhere." He cooed into your ear. You sat there for a moment until your heartbeat slowed and your tense muscles relaxed. You felt him press a soft kiss to your neck and you turned to face him.

"I love you Bean."

"I love you too Red." He said with a hand holding your cheek. You leaned into the touch. He pulled the both of you under the covers and you drifted off into a peaceful sleep in his arms. You finally felt like everything had fit into place.


	17. Sam Ending

"To who?"

"Sam." Was all you said, your voice a whisper in his shoulder. God rubbed your back, cooing in your ear.

"Tell him the truth. Just come outright and say it." He told you, pulling you away from him so he could look into your glowing eyes.

"Make it mean something so he can't be angry with you." He continued. You nodded and nestled yourself back into his comforting embrace.

One year later, the anniversary of your supposed death.

"It's time now, today's the day." You heaved a huge sigh and looked up at the man in front of you. He gave you a sad smile and pulled you into a big hug.

"I know you'll be able to do it." God said into your ear. Gabriel came up to your side as you pulled away from your life long friend.

"Yeah, my best girl's back at full power. There's nothing she can't handle." He winked at you. You smiled and giggled at the whiskey eyed man. He leaned over and kissed you on the cheek.

"Go get him, princess." He whispered into your ear. You nodded, tears slipping down your cheeks. You had to leave now or you would lose your confidence.

"Thank you guys for everything." You wiped a tear before flashing yourself to just outside the bunker. You pulled out Sam's old hunting knife. You kept it with you to remind yourself everyday what you needed to go home to. You performed the tracking incantation quickly and discovered that he was in the bunker. You flashed yourself inside, as to not make a huge sound and frighten him. You looked around the entrance but couldn't find the long haired yet. You descended the long staircase and walked toward the entrance to the library. Then you saw him. Your breath caught in your throat and your feet froze where they were. You were dumbstruck. All you could do was watch him. He was hunched over an extremely thick file, reading intensely. He appeared to be laughing at some parts of the file but as you watched you realized he was crying. Confusion coursed through your brain, then it dawned on you. It was your file. Tears slipped down your cheek and you tried to force yourself to move but you were still frozen in your spot. You continued to watch him read, listen to his cries when you noticed another sound, it was music. Very faint but it was there. You used your power to home in on it, A Drop in the Ocean was playing. The song you two danced to. That day was burned into your memory, and apparently his too. Your tears flowed more freely now. You finally managed to take a few steps forward. He heard your shuffling.

"Dean, please just leave me alone." He said, punctuating the phrase with a sniffle. You continued your journey towards the chair across from him.

"Dean. I don't want to hear it. Not today, of all days." His voice was growing in anger. He waved his hand in your direction, as if telling you to go away. You reached the chair across from him and took a seat. Sam them exploded out of his own chair, causing a few papers to go flying.

"DEAN I SAI-" He began a loud roar but it was quickly cut off when he saw you sitting there, a look of fear on your face. He pulled a knife out of his pocket, it was clearly a silver knife.

"I don't know who you are or what kind of sick fuck you are but get out." He spat at you.

"It's me Sam, did you not notice the change in the weather?" You responded, referencing the song playing in the background. His demeanor softened slightly. You gave him a small smile.

"Get the fuck out of her body." His voice was still rough. You shook your head at him and held out your arm.

"Cut me with the silver." You said, he complied. It stung but there was no reaction. You passed your heated fingers over the wound to seal it.

"Holy water." You said, arm still out. No reaction. He took a small step back, as if he couldn't believe you could be back.

"Pr- prove it." He choked out. You thought for a moment before deciding to show one pair of your deep red wings. He the reached into his shirt and pulled out a chain, on it had a group of your feathers.

"The day you showed me your wings, and feather came calling out I panicked. I thought I had hurt you. When you died, I searched for hours, trying to find them. To have a part of you with me at all times." He said, fumbling with the soft red feathers. You grinned at him. He looked deep into your e/c eyes. You allowed your irises to flash red for just a moment and he grinned.

"There's my Red." He said. A huge smile took over your face and you ran around the table towards him, wrapping your arms around his shoulders. He lifted you into the air and you wrapped your legs around his waist and brought your wings around the both of you.

"Now this is a feeling I could get used to..." You mumbled into his neck.

"I missed you so much Y/N. It was so hard without you. Just ask Dean... There's so much to catch up on, I was so sca-"

"Shhhhh." You cut him off. "Enjoy the moment." You said.

"I love you. More than I ever thought I could love someone." He said, pressing a kiss to your shoulder.

"Look at me." He didn't move. "Sam, look at me." He raised his head cautiously. It was like if he moved too fast he would shatter all his hopes.

"I love you too. Forever and always. When I first saw you, it was on a computer screen. I was trying to figure out who you were. Never did I think that I would be here today. But I'm sure as hell glad that I am." You put a hand on his cheek, and he turned his head and kissed your wrist, up your arm, to your shoulder, up your neck, around your jawline, and to the corner of your mouth before pulling away and staring you deep in the eyes. You couldn't handle it, you crashed your lips together in a heated and passionate kiss. Every moment from the year apart  made up this kiss, you could feel it. You pulled away.

"Let's go get some sleep yes?" He nodded. "First, you need to shower though. You stink Sam." You laughed at him.

"Care to join me?" He asked you. You just nodded, letting Yor feet drop to the floor and allowing him to lead you out of the room. When you two reached the shower, he got in and turned the water in to let it warm up. He came out and took off his shirt, leaving him in his sweatpants. Slowly be reached for the hem of your shirt, you lifted your arms to allow him to pull it over your head. He set iron top of his own shirt before taking a step closer to you. He wrapped his arms around your waist and peppered your neck with kisses as he unhooked your bra, letting it fall with the discarded clothes. You each took off the remanded of the others clothes and climbed into the shower, washing each others bodies, placing kisses on old scars, and making sure the other felt loved. When it was time to come out, the water had turned cold. You dried yourselves off and walked to his bedroom wrapped in towels. You climbed into bed without getting dressed and just laid together. He was tracing small patterns onto your skin as you watched the relaxed expression on his face. You soon drifted into sleep and when you woke up, the man you loved was right there with you. At that moment you knew you were right where you were supposed to be.


	18. Castiel Ending

"To who?"

"Cas." Was all you said, your voice a whisper in his shoulder. God rubbed your back, cooing in your ear.

"Tell him the truth. Just come outright and say it." He told you, pulling you away from him so he could look into your glowing eyes.

"Make it mean something so he can't be angry with you." He continued. You nodded and nestled yourself back into his comforting embrace.

One year later, the anniversary of your supposed death.

"I finally found him... Guys I found him!" Your voice was thick with emotion as you looked up at the man in front of you. He gave you a sad smile and pulled you into a big hug.

"I know you'll be able to do it." God said into your ear. Gabriel came up to your side as you pulled away from your life long friend.

"Yeah, my best girl's back at full power. There's nothing she can't handle." He winked at you. You smiled and giggled at the whiskey eyed man. He leaned over and kissed you on the cheek.

"Go get him, princess." He whispered into your ear. You nodded, tears slipping down your cheeks. You had to leave now or you would lose your confidence.

"Thank you guys for everything." You wiped a tear before flashing yourself to your hometown. Roseville, Montana. It had taken you a year to find Cas. After your supposed death, be up and vanished. You kept an eye on the Winchesters, but he never came around and spoke to them. They two brothers prayed to him often but none of their prayers were answered. You searched for him everywhere. You even snuck into his heaven. You only stumbled across him one day, through the window of a grocery store. He was working there, as a cashier. You were taken aback by how natural he seemed in the situation. He seemed almost... Well, human. You watched him for a time, as he smiled at and greeted each customer. He seemed to be doing well. That fact brought a smile to your face. You pulled the hood on your jacket up and walked into the store. A kind woman greeted you, she looked to be a manager. You nodded a hello and began to wander the store. What you were planning on doing in there, you didn't know. You kept half an eye on the Angel the entire time you pretended to peruse the store. As you watched him scan items and bag them, you noticed something on the inside of his left wrist but you couldn't make out what it was. It looked like a tattoo but of what you couldn't tell. He touched it often, as if reminding himself that it was there. When he was waiting for a customer, it was like a nervous tick. He would also sing as he bagged. You didn't even need to use your powers to pick out his beautiful voice from across the store. You heard the familiar tune of your childhood lullaby. Hallelujah. You smiled to yourself and looked down at your feet, bashful. You continued to wander the building, listening to his sweet humming when you came across a CD titled "Joker". Memories of the time you two spent stuck together flashed through your mind. What Cas said, the day of your funeral was seared into your mind.

"I'm in love with your body, your mind, and your soul. You are my light."

"Perfect." You thought with a grin. You just hoped it would spark a memory in his mind as it did in yours. You wandered up to the front of the store, towards his checkout lane. You kept your head down to avoid his gaze, hoping he wouldn't recognize you. There was a bit of a line for his lane but you didn't mind the wait. You were able to seem him much clearer now. You could even see the mystery in his wrist. It was a tattoo. Of the joker, the playing card. You smiled. This CD would definitely remind him of the days you spent, hands entwined. You set the disc down on the belt and watched it move towards the angel you so dearly missed.

"Hey I've heard of this band. Any good?" He asked you. You kept your head down and your hood up. Only nodding an affirmative.

"A very close friend of mine, she and I... Well..." He seemed to be having a hard time finding the words. "We really got to know each other because of the store 'The Joker' around here. Have you heard of it? You seem new around this town." He was talking about you and you knew it. It brought a smile to your face. You used your powers to modify your voice, not wanting to break cover yet.

"Yeah, I've heard of it." Your voice came out high and scratchy. Unfamiliar to you.

"That's where I first told her I loved her..." He said, looking down as he scanned your item and reached down for a bag. "She uh..." His voice caught. "She passed away in a tragic accident exactly one year ago today." He said as he glanced at his watch. He was still basically underneath the counter at this point. You slowly took off your good and raised your head, allowing your h/l h/c hair to be seen and letting your stunning e/c eyes into the light. He finished bagging the CD when he glanced at you. Then did a double take. It was now, with your vision clear that you were able to see your blue ring on a chain around his neck. A huge smile too over your features and you lost yourself in the feeling of having him just near you. He stood there for a moment, unsure of what to do. His stance was defensive and his eyes questioning. Finally realizing that you needed to reassure him you were the real deal and not a demon you allowed your eyes to flash red and created a small red light show for him to see.

"Dear father, it is you..." His voice was strained and threaded with emotion. He ran around his check lane and pulled you into his arms, inhaling your scent.

"I missed you so much Cas, it was so hard to find you..." You sobbed into his shoulder.

"I've missed you to Y/N..." He responded into your neck. You pulled away from the embrace slightly to lol him in the eyes.

"Cas." You said.

"Yes Y/N? Oh lord it feels so good to let your name pass my lips again. To have it mean something other than just mourning." His cobalt blue eyes searched your face.

"Jimmy?" He visibly flinched.

"He is in heaven. Safe." His tone was rather dejected.

"That means I can do this without too much guilt." You smirked when you watched his eyebrows furrow and his head tilt. You crashed your lips to his. At first he was unyielding and surprised, but he slowly melted into the kiss. It growing more heated and passionate by the moment. You quickly remembered that you were still in a public place and pulled away, glancing around you. You noticed some customers watching you, but instead of anger in their features, all you saw was compassion and understanding. As if they could tell your exact situation. You turned your head back towards Cas.

"I love you Cas." You smiled as you pressed your forehead to his.

"I love you too Y/N. I'm in love with your body, your mind, and your soul. You are my light. My Savior. Forever and always." He pressed a small kiss to the tip of your nose. You wrapped your arms around his neck and he pulled you in close by the waist. With his wonderful scent in your nose buried in his shoulder and his strong embrace, you finally felt at home again. You finally felt whole again.


	19. Crowley Ending

"To who?"

"Crowley." Was all you said, your voice a whisper in his shoulder. God rubbed your back, cooing in your ear.

"Tell him the truth. Just come outright and say it." He told you, pulling you away from him so he could look into your glowing eyes.

"Make it mean something so he can't be angry with you." He continued. You nodded and nestled yourself back into his comforting embrace.

One year later, the anniversary of your supposed death.

"It's time now, today's the day." You heaved a huge sigh and looked up at the man in front of you. He gave you a sad smile and pulled you into a big hug.

"I know you'll be able to do it." God said into your ear. Gabriel came up to your side as you pulled away from your life long friend.

"Yeah, my best girl's back at full power. There's nothing she can't handle." He winked at you. You smiled and giggled at the whiskey eyed man. He leaned over and kissed you on the cheek.

"Go get him, princess." He whispered into your ear. You nodded, tears slipping down your cheeks. You had to leave now or you would lose your confidence.

"Thank you guys for everything." You wiped a tear before flashing yourself to just outside the bunker. It took you a while to build up the courage to make your way into hell. Gently this time. You didn't want to disturb him anymore than you had to. You wanted to make things right. You wandered in the direction of a back entrance to hell. A bar about a mile out from the bunker. When you arrived, there were demons everywhere. You didn't want to get attacked or bothered so you pulled up the good in your red jacket and walked inside, head down. The moment you walked in, everyone turned their heads away from you. A larger demon, the bartender, shouted at you.

"Are you trying to get yourself killed?" His words shocked you mildly.

"You know the boss has banned the color red!" His voice increased in intensity. They thought you were a demon.

"I know." You replied, altering your voice. "I'm on my way to see him right now." You could hear the smirk in your voice.

"You've got a death wish..." He muttered. You walked over to the entrance of hell.

"See ya later boys!" A grin grew on your face. You waved your hand and a flash of red light lot the room. When it dissipated, all of them had red hair. Laughing you turned to enter hell. You heard their shouts of fear and anger fade into the distance as you jumped into the portal.

You landed heavily in the now familiar supply closet. The last time you had been here your mind was clouded with anger. Now, only full of love and remorse for your actions. He had taken Sam from you but you didn't let him tell why. You ignored his obvious regret and beat him to a pulp. You enjoyed the feeling of his flesh under your fist. You may as well have kissed your knuckles before they touched his cheek. You sunk to the floor, head in your knees.

"What have I done..." You whispered to yourself over and over again. A gentle cry escaped your throat and you shook with the effort or took to remain quiet. After a few moments you heard the door click, then two sets of footsteps coming towards you. They were slow and shuffling. Whoever entered was breathing hard but you resided to look up.

"Just kill me." You whimpered. "I'm better dead than alive. I'll even give you all the supplies you need!" You shouted the last a entrance out of desperation. Whoever came into the room decided to flop down next to you, and they smelled like dog.

"Go take a shower if you're gonna sit here and bother me." You growled at them. And they growled back, but it was a real growl. You raised your head and glanced to your left.

"Juliet! I've missed you so much!" You cried as you threw your arms around her large neck. The hound got equally as excited when you recognized her. The two of you tousled on the ground for a little while before she ended up laying next to you.

"So how's my beautiful girl doing? You keeping all those hellhound pups in training in check?" She barked a response. You laughed and scratched at the back of her ears, playing with the huge beast.

"How about the king? You keeping him in check?" You laughed as she rolled into her back with a rumbling growl.

"How'd you get in here sweetheart? You can't open doors..." You pondered as you rubbed her belly. She let out a soft whine. You heard another pair of footsteps shuffle. Slowly your eyes carried themselves to the owners feet. Your eyes widened slightly as they made their way up to the owners face. His expression was calm, serene, almost caring as his gaze searched your face.

"Welcome back, Y/N." You cringed at the use of your name. The only reason he has used it was because you had forbidden him to call you anything else. You desperately wish you could go back in time and change what happened. You tried to respond to him but were frozen. All you could do was stare.

"Is there something on my face?" There was a razor sharp edge to his voice, but it was hidden. As if he were trying to control it. He took a step towards you and you flinched again. He stopped.

"I'm not angry at you, Y/N." His voice was soft, hesitant. "I'm angry with myself." His gaze lowered to the ground as you gaped at him.

"I- I- I- I'm sorry..." You managed to stutter out.

"For what? For beating me? Darlin- Y/N, I deserved it. 100% deserved it." His voice was somber. You shook your head vigorously in response but he was studying his shoes.

"M-No." Your mouth caught up with your vocal chords, "I was angry but no one should have to face that."

"It didn't hurt, only the last punch did. With that bit of your power, nice touch." He glanced up at you from his feet.

"Crowley, I know what I was doing. I know the extent of my power even when I'm that exhausted. You can say it didn't hurt but I know the damage I caused." Your gaze slid down to the hellhound still beside you. "Not just physically..." You added softly. You weren't sure if he could hear you.

"Love, there is nothing you could do to me to make me hate you, angry at you, or upset with you in any way. I was angry at myself for making you feel that way. Angry that I couldn't fix it. Angry that I had to act like I never cared so you had a reason to boot me out of your life. I told myself to stay away from you. You deserve a hero. Not the king of hell..." His gaze went up the wall as he leaned against the doorframe. You stood up, there was anger in your face because the way he reacted it was as if he thought you were going to beat him up.

"Sorry, I shouldn't have called you 'Love'." He said, keeping his gaze away from yours.

"If you think I truly meant that I hated your pet names you were wrong. If you think that I was ever going to leave you to were wrong. If you ever thought that I didn't care you were wrong. And you are sure as hell wrong when you say you aren't a hero. You saved me from oblivion. Gave me a reason to live. You are a hero. You are my hero." Your voice was low and intense. As you spoke his eyes slowly worked to meet your own, and when they did they flashed that beautiful red color. Crowley smiled.

"That's my beautiful girl, full of the color I missed so much. I missed the spark inside you." He said, a grin wide on his face.

"Oh jeez Crowley, I missed you too. I just hope you don't regret for-" he cut you off with a kiss, deep and passionate. It lasted for what felt like an eternity but it still wasn't long enough when he pulled away.

"There's nothing to forgive because you did nothing wrong, love." He smiled as crashed his lips to yours once again, bringing up his hands to cup your face and you wrapped your arms around his neck.

"I love you Crowley." You whispered against his lips.

"I love you too darling, always have." He replied as your foreheads pressed together. This was right. This was where you needed to be.


	20. Gabriel Ending

"To who?"

"Gabe." Was all you said, your voice a whisper in his shoulder. God rubbed your back, cooing in your ear.

"Tell him the truth. Just come outright and say it." He told you, pulling you away from him so he could look into your glowing eyes.

"Make it mean something so he can't be angry with you." He continued. You nodded and nestled yourself back into his comforting embrace.

A couple months later.

"It's time now, today's the day." You heaved a huge sigh and looked up at the man in front of you. He gave you a sad smile and pulled you into a big hug.

"I know you'll be able to do it." God said into your ear. "You're back at full power. There's nothing you can't handle." He winked at you. You smiled and giggled at the bearded man. He leaned over and kissed you on the cheek.

"Go get him, Y/N." He whispered into your ear. You nodded, tears slipping down your cheeks. You had to leave now or you would lose your confidence.

"Thank you." You wiped a tear before walking out of the room in search of the man you loved. Or rather, Angel you loved. You found him quickly, he was in the kitchen.

"Hey baby girl, how you doin?" He smirked at you as you came in.

"You flirt with all the supposed to be dead chicks like that?" You replied.

"Nope." He said, popping the 'p', "just you sweetheart." He punctuated the sentence with a wink. He studied your face for a moment.

"Have you been crying?" He asked you. You shook your head.

"No, I'm fine." He looked at you quizzically. Not wanting anymore questions you asked him one.

"Wanna do something today?"

"Like what?" His response caught you by surprise, he usually says no right away. You considered your answer for a moment before responding.

"Strip club." The look on his face was not one you would've expected to see. He looked disgusted with your suggestion. You threw your hands up defensively.

"Fine let's not go watch really hot people dance around naked." You said, over reacting slightly to make a point.

"It's not that. I just... I've got my heart set on someone else." He told you. Your heart sunk in your chest. That was definitely not something you wanted to hear.

"Y/N? Y/N?! Dawn? DUSK!" He shouted at you, bringing you out of your stupor.

"Yeah? What? Oh sorry..."

"What else did you wanna do today?" He asked you, probably for the twelfth time. You answered faster this time around.

"Bowling?" You were hesitant this time but a smile lit his features and all of a sudden you're in the town bowling alley. A giggle escaped your mouth as he took your hand and dragged you towards the shoe rental. He paid for the shoes and you two were set up on a lane. You spent hours drinking, bowling, and messing around. You tried stupid shots, like sitting on the ground and pushing the ball, or kneeling on the ground with your ass in the air aiming the ball with your eye. As drunk as you were you could still feel his gaze on your ass. You have it a little wiggle before a laugh made its way out of your mouth. You heard his laughter and looked at the whiskey eyed man over your shoulder, biting your lip. If you weren't so drunk you would've thought the look in his eyes was one of love. You brushed it off as a trick of the mind. You bowled a strike and stood up to celebrate. He came up and high fived you, spinning you around. Your faced were mere inches apart as a huge smile graced both your faces. You looked deep into his dilated, golden eyes before he broke the contact to bowl his turn. You watched him wind up for the shot, shifting his weight back and forth. You tried to stifle a giggle but in your drunken state you were unable. He heard you and blew a raspberry at you over your shoulder.

The remainder of your game went pretty quickly and then you guys were off to a bar. You did some shots, played a couple drinking games, and just enjoyed yourselves. That is until you vomited in a trash can. At that point Gabriel decided it was time to go home. He helped you clean up after you puked and then pulled you close for the flight home. You could feel his alcoholic breath on your neck making you shiver. When you landed back in the upstairs of the Joker you quickly puked again from the nauseating journey.

"Shhh... You're okay we're home now..." Gabe cooed in you're ear. His strong hand was rubbing your back.

"Heeeey you can't tell him. Promise me." You slurred.

"Tell who what?" The man taking care of you seemed confused.

"You can't tell Gabe I lied to him." You clarified, almost vomiting again.

"I'm Gabe." He told you.

"Stop playing games God.." Giggle followed by a hiccup punctuated the sentence.

"Alright, let's get you to bed. Alright?" He lifted your rag doll body onto his shoulder and began to carry you towards the room you were staying in.

"No! You have to promise me you won't tell him that I love him!" You pounded against his back as you spoke. The man beneath your fists froze. His muscles tense and alert, poised to strike. He stiffly carried you to your room and put you to bed.

"Promise me!" You shouted at him quietly, falling asleep as your head lay against the pillow. Your only response was the familiar click of a door being closed.

When you woke up you had a pounding head ache. You glanced at your nightstand and two white pills and a glass of water lay on it. You scowled at the array and brought the familiar warmth into your palm. You quickly rid your body of its toxins. Feeling mildly refreshed you raised your stiff body from your bed and wandered into the hallway towards the kitchen.

"Hey Y/N." You heard God's smooth voice. You raised your hand in greeting

"Rough night?" He asked you.

"Can't remember." You replied monotonously ad you searched the refrigerator for something to eat. You gave up quickly and conceded to make yourself a cup of coffee. Collapsing into a chair at the dining table you finally raised your gaze to God. Memories began to come back to you in bits and pieces.

"Thanks for helping me out last night, just by the way." You said, raising your glad to him slightly. He looked at you quizzically.

"What are you talking about?" Your brow furrowed.

"Who helped me then?" You thought for a moment.

"Maybe it was the angel you spent your night with. You know, the one you were supposed to talk to?" You shushed him loudly as you heard footsteps approach the kitchen. God just raised his hands in defense, shook his head, mouthed 'tell him!' At you, turned tail, and left.

"Tell me what?" Gabe asked you as God left the room. You watched his shoulders flinch and you knew he could feel your glare.

"What do you mean?" You tried to play it off. However, your hopes were dashed when God called loudly from the next room.

"DUSK, TELL HIM!" His voice boomed and you could feel the building vibrate.

"Tell me what Y/N?" He repeated his questions.

"It's nothing Gabe, don't worry about it." You said with a smile, taking a drink of your coffee.

"Is this about what you said last night? That you are in love with me?" At that moment you choked on your coffee, spitting out most of it and coughing up the rest.

"Good lord Y/N..." He said as he rushed over to help you recover.

"I said that? Fuck I'm so sorry Gabriel, I never meant for tu to hear that ever. I mean k wanted to tell you but I was so afra-" he cut you off with a burning kiss, lips strong against yours, arms around your waist, and a smile deeply engrained on his features. He broke the chaste kiss and pressed his forehead to yours.

"I'm in love with you too sweetheart. Don't worry." His grin grew and he kissed you again, bringing a hand up to cup your face as you held onto his arms, trying to figure out if this was real or a dream. But real or no, you sure could get used to this.


	21. God/Chuck Ending

"To who?"

"You." Was all you said, your voice a whisper in his shoulder. God rubbed your back, cooing in your ear.

"Then tell me the truth. Just come outright and say it." He told you, pulling you away from him so he could look into your glowing eyes.

"I can't." You choked on the words. "Not yet, not now." You couldn't meet his gaze, telling him that you've lied to him and then not telling him the truth it was true you couldn't quite bear it, but you still felt guilty. All he did was nod, but you could tell he was conflicted.

"You need to rest." Was all he said to you before laying you back down on the sofa. You accepted the soft cushion as it gave your aching body some ease. You were exhausted, your powers exerted. You woke intermittently throughout the next few hours due to the two men arguing. About you. You couldn't pick out much, but you did hear a couple choice words.

"She fucking lied about something!"

"Why do you want to keep her here?"

"We can't trust her."

"It will be okay." All spoken by Gabriel, with the last being spoken by God. When you finally regained consciousness, however long later it was dim. You lifted your sore body off the couch and tried to find someone, but as if he heard you God was soon by your side.

"You need to stay in bed, Y/N." He said as he lifted you off the ground and carried you back to the room.

"Sorry." You mumbled sleepily.

"Don't be sorry just stay put." His voice was kind but stern. He laid you back down and turned to leave.

"God?" You called after him.

"Call me Chuck, alright?" He said back to you. "On earth I am Chuck, not many know of my true identity here. Only you and Gabriel." He told you.

"But Cas and the Winchesters know." You protested, he shook his head.

"They forget the information as they learn it." He told you. "Anyway, what did you need?"

"Could you stay with me?" His gaze hit the floor and you saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed hard.

"Never mind..." You said softly, curling up to sleep. You heard the shuffle of feet before darkness overtook you. Whether or not he stayed, you couldn't say. You were woken by rough shaking on your shoulder.

"Y/N. Get up." You groggily raised your body from the sofa. Your eyes squinted against the bright light but you could make out Gabriel's shape.

"What's going on?" You asked him.

"Breakfast." Was all he said before leaving the room. He was angry with you. Probably for lying. But it wasn't really lying, just hiding your feelings. That's just not telling the truth. Right? He was going to have a hard time trusting you. You made your way into the kitchen, hobbling and stumbling a bit. Your tired body was still struggling. When you fell in the hallway, you tried to bring forth your powers to heal yourself but your palm just flickered and went cold. Not being able to use your powers was a little disorienting.

"Chuck!" You called, you voice cracked. "Chuck!" You called again, stronger this time. He came running down the hallway.

"What are you doing on the floor?!" You felt his question was rhetorical so you didn't answer.

"GABRIEL?!" He shouted. His booming and powerful voice shook the building, his anger shattered a few light bulbs sending a shower of glass shards down on the two of you. Gabriel rounded the corner.

"Yes Father?" He sounded annoyed.

"I told you to wake her up and bring her to breakfast, not abandon her!" His voice was strained and he was tense. You could tell he was trying to restrain himself.

"Sorry. I misunderstood." He scowled at you before going into the kitchen. God, or as he told you to call him, Chuck picked you up and carried you to the table, setting you in a chair.

"I feel like royalty." You joked softly as he served food onto the dish in front of you. You saw Gabe roll his eyes out of the corner of your eye. You looked down at the food in front of you and let out a squeal of happiness.

"How did you know this was my favorite breakfast!?" You quickly dove in, stuffing your face with the delicious food. Chuck came back around and gave you more to drink.

"Hey slow down, you're gonna make yourself sick!" He laughed at your enthusiasm. He placed a hand on your back and let it linger there for just a moment to long. You paused in eating your meal because the only thing you could concentrate on was the feeling of his hand against your back. But that the same moment, he pulled it away.

"Are you alright?" He said as he began putting away the leftovers.

"Yeah, I'm fine." You gave a smile and dove back into the meal. 

"I've got some errands to run, I'll be back later. Gabriel, be good. Help her if she needs it." Gabe just gave a grunt in reply.

"See you later! You said as he grabbed his coat off the end of the chair and left the two of you alone. You ate in silence for another few minutes before you finally decided to speak up.

"Gabe?" You began hesitantly. If you were going to tell him everything you didn't want him angry. He looked up at you from his food.

"Look I know the situation looks bad but please let me explain. Maybe you'll hate me less afterwords!" He swallowed the food that was in his mouth and sat forward in his chair.

"Why? Give me one good reason. Because right now, you have no right. You came bounding in here however many fucking months ago, years even, with Cas. From that day forward my father has been a wreck. He searched for you and searched for you and when he realized what he had done to you, that you were then visible to Amara, he nearly killed himself. He couldn't function. I was the one who had to go save you. And then when you come back, you tell him you've done nothing but lie to him? You have no fucking rights." His voice was deep and angry. Tears were spilling out of your eyes, you didn't know what to say. You were terrified of what he would do to you. You raised your gaze from the table to look at his amber eyes.

"I'm in love with him." Your voice was small, almost inaudible. Gabriel's face instantly changed. His gaze softened and he collapsed back in his chair.

"In love... Hah not what I expected." He laughed to himself. "Y/N why didn't you tell him? He's been in love with you from the day you met. Still is, always will be." You gasped at this.

"He saw me with..." The realization dawned on you and you felt sick to your stomach. The man you've loved since what feels like an eternity, who has also loved you, had to watch you be with another man.

"No, he didn't even know you two were together until after Jimmy died." That made a weight lift off your shoulders. But you still felt guilty. Even though you couldn't remember Chuck, or really anything else, it still felt like cheating. When he cast you out of heaven, he told you he loved you for the last time. When you landed on Earth, you lost all of your memory. But you should have known. Right? That you were supposed to be with someone else? It made you sick to think that there wasn't even the slightest inkling that there was someone else for you.

"I need to go." You stood up suddenly, shakily.

"Y/N no please don't leave." Gabriel tried to rush around the table to help you but you had already flashed yourself out. Sapping what little strength you had you landed yourself in the middle of nowhere and collapsed on the side of the road.

A year later - Anniversary of the day you left

You woke up in the cold sheets of your bed, wishing that Chuck was with you. But you couldn't go back and face him after what you had done. Despair and anger at yourself consumed you everyday but you still managed to get out of bed everyday.

You got up and took a long hot shower, got dressed for work at the local office, and started the drive. The fifteen minute drive was always conducted in silence, it was always the same route, and it always pissed you off. People were so stupid. They didn't know how to fucking drive. When you ft to work you wandered over to your cubicle and started crunching numbers. You hated your job but you were pleasant about it to your boss. Everyday was in eventful and it made you want to find the Winchesters but you knew they were better off without you. The world was better off without you. Y/N Johnson was harmless, unlike Y/N Y/L/N, unlike Dawn, or Dusk. You clicked away at your keyboard for a few more hours before going out to take your lunch.

You went to the small cafe right next to your work and got your usual. Black coffee with a chicken sandwich and some fries. When you were getting up to leave you heard a clamor outside, people were gathering around something. Panicking, you ran outside to see what was going on. A man had just jumped off of a twelve story building. You could see him collapsed on the ground.

"GET OUT OF MY WAY." You yelled at the top of your lungs. Instantly the yelling stopped and people made a path. In an instant you were at the mans side. Without even thinking about it you brought the familiar warmth into your palm and healed the mangled body in front of you. The man took a gasping breath and sat up. People around you gasped and gossiped about the 'Savior'. The old name made you smile slightly.

"I knew it was you..." A voice breathed behind you. You whipped your head around.

"Chuck..." You breathed. "I-" your words caught in your throat. But to him, that was enough. He took two huge strides towards you and pulled you into his arms.

"Don't ever scare me like that again." He whispered into your ear.

"I- I'm sorry..." You mumbled into his shoulder. He pulled your face to look into your eyes. He just stared at you for what felt like forever before crashing his lips to yours. The kiss was heated, passionate. He was throwing everything from the missed years into it and you could feel it. He broke the kiss and the only thing you could do was smile. You were home again.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is my personal favorite of all the endings. But this officially marks the end of Things that go Bunp in the Night. I'm sad to see it end but I'm proud of the work I've done. I'll probably edit it at some point in the future but we'll see. Please comment and tell me how you liked any of the endings, which was your favorite if you read multiples, and leave a kudos if you're too shy to comment! I love your feedback. Also please send me requests! If you just want to comment them on this fiction, please do it on Ch. 1 Prologue. But please I love writing, and I do love prompts. I'll make them at least 2,500 words long which is about how long each chapter is in this fic. (Except for the endings, they're each under 2,000). I love you all, thank you for reading my story! I hope you enjoyed. Constructive criticism is always welcome too!


End file.
